Recently, Poppets, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about privilege. See, in many ways, I carry a lot of it. I am white; I’m straight; I’m cis-gendered. All of these give me privilege here in the US. Now, because I am aware of my privilege, I try very hard to check it at the door, so to speak, and not abuse it, consciously or unconsciously. This is not to say I’m perfect, but I do try.
So what has me thinking about privilege recently? Because I have also, recently, been living without it, in many ways. For several months, I lived with someone who could’ve asked me to leave at anytime – and I would’ve had to leave. Currently, I get to be where I am “as long as no one complains.” So while the living arrangements are indescribably better, they are still dependant upon others’ approval and acceptance. Let me tell you – the threat of homelessness will change what you do and say mighty quick.
I’ve also been, in case you haven’t put this one together, broke, broke, broke for a few months. Did I mention broke? All my morals and values around shopping locally, not giving my money to certain conglomerates, voting with my wallet as well as my ballot – Gone. Apparently, the ability to do that comes with economic privilege. Who knew? On the one side of the line, even if money is a little tight, it’s important enough that one can easily say well, the prices aren’t that much more here than there and I support the politics here so…and pay the extra dollar or two. But there’s a difference between having enough money or even money being a little tight and being broke, broke, broke. When you are broke, you are on the other side of that line. Having now spent some time there, I have come to realize how lucky, how privileged, I have always been to be able to take that stance, to have economic values.
We as a community are facing a shift in privilege, as well. Quite frankly, if we’re not careful, I believe it could be as divisive as anything else we’ve faced. On one line is the privilege of being safely out. On the other is the knowledge that “safe” and “out” are mutually exclusive.
For members of the community who are safely out, or who are straight allies like me, it’s easy to judge people who remain closeted. I know I have, in the past, been too blasé about encouraging people to come out, without taking their situations into account. After all, it’s a different time now, and it was easy to assume my experience with and knowledge of acceptance would be universal. We have leaders, bloggers, journalists, and activists who feel it is not only acceptable but it is a responsibility to out the closeted. Now, I’m not talking about hypocrites who work to legislate and continue to oppress LGBT people while living secret lives. Suddenly, everyone should be outted, regardless. And this, Poppets, is about privilege. The privilege of the safely out.
Should we live in a world where everyone can come out and be out safely? Absolutely! Must we keep working toward that end? Umm…duh. But we’re not there yet and outing people, regardless of their situation, doesn’t get us there. As much as we’d like it to be otherwise, there are people who are not and can not be out safely. They know their situations better than we do. The safely outted and the straight allies have privilege not everyone has yet. We need to remember that, over here on our side of the line, and yes, check it at the door.
Until next month, Poppets, remember I can be reached at lifeandtimesofbridget@gmail.com … and take care of you.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
June 1. 2010
It’s June, Poppets, and June means Pride. And what a Pride it could be. We have an openly transgendered woman on the presidential cabinet; the military is taking steps to end DADT; and the president has changed the laws regarding hospital visits and medical decisions. We have so many reasons to celebrate this year!
In the past, I have been supportive of Pride in all its forms. Noisy political rally? Go for it. Dancing in the streets? Sign me up. Sexy, colorful costumes with more feathers than material? Oh yeah baby. Even an exchange of shouted insults swapped with teabaggers has been cool with me.
This year, though, I have a different idea. This year, let’s put away our signs and our feathers. Let’s save our sexy costumes and snarky comments about the extreme right for our private after parties. In other words, let’s show the world who we are, not just who they think we are. Who they are afraid we are. Because you and I both know what they are afraid of.
They are afraid of what they think they know. That we are overly sexual, flamboyant people. That we are angry, belligerent people. And those might indeed be part of who we are. They are hardly everything we are, despite what our opponents “know.”
During the one month the world is really watching us, let’s show them the part of us they don’t know. The part no one can possibly be afraid of. Let’s turn out dressed well, not just street legal. Let’s be well-spoken and articulate, not just loud. Let’s hold hands with and kiss the people we love, not just grope the people we lust.
This is our time. We are closer than we have ever been. But the sad truth is we are not there yet. People still hate what they think they know about us. This year, let’s give them a chance to know us. Let’s show them not only that we are Proud, but why we are Proud.
Until next month, Poppets, enjoy Pride and take care of you.
In the past, I have been supportive of Pride in all its forms. Noisy political rally? Go for it. Dancing in the streets? Sign me up. Sexy, colorful costumes with more feathers than material? Oh yeah baby. Even an exchange of shouted insults swapped with teabaggers has been cool with me.
This year, though, I have a different idea. This year, let’s put away our signs and our feathers. Let’s save our sexy costumes and snarky comments about the extreme right for our private after parties. In other words, let’s show the world who we are, not just who they think we are. Who they are afraid we are. Because you and I both know what they are afraid of.
They are afraid of what they think they know. That we are overly sexual, flamboyant people. That we are angry, belligerent people. And those might indeed be part of who we are. They are hardly everything we are, despite what our opponents “know.”
During the one month the world is really watching us, let’s show them the part of us they don’t know. The part no one can possibly be afraid of. Let’s turn out dressed well, not just street legal. Let’s be well-spoken and articulate, not just loud. Let’s hold hands with and kiss the people we love, not just grope the people we lust.
This is our time. We are closer than we have ever been. But the sad truth is we are not there yet. People still hate what they think they know about us. This year, let’s give them a chance to know us. Let’s show them not only that we are Proud, but why we are Proud.
Until next month, Poppets, enjoy Pride and take care of you.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
May 1, 2010
Greetings, Poppets, from Alaska – where it's wild...where it's peaceful...where it's snowing. Yep. Snowing. At least it makes for good, albeit wistful, dreaming weather. And what am I dreaming about? Spring. Sunny days, warm breezes, green grass...The good news is that you get the benefit of my dreaming about what's happening in warmer climes.
Let's be honest, May is a gorgeous time to be in Washington. Plus, the festivals and fairs begin to help show off the state. Seattle offers something for everyone, all month long.
Feel a strong connection to the sea (or the men who sail it)? Be sure to head to the Seattle Maritime Festival May 6-8. It's at Pier 66/Bell Harbor Marina. Admission is free – and you know how much I like free.
Mother's Day is in May, but if your mom is anything like the moms I know, another brunch and heart-shaped necklace will only go over so well. Consider taking her – or your dad, or your best friend – down to Pike Place Market for the Flower Festival instead. May 8 and 9 the streets are brimming with flowers and bouquets. Enjoy just looking at the riot of color or splurge and buy. It's too beautiful to miss, either way.
If you have kids in your life, or still consider yourself a kid, then the Seattle International Children's Festival is for you. It comes to town May 11-15. And don't deny yourself this one; it really is a treat for all of us. Borrow a kid and go.
Don't forget the perennial favorite, the University District street fair. Yes, it's been around forever, but there's a reason for that: it's wonderful. Wander through on the 15th and 16th of the month.
Also on the 15th and 16th, since you're going to be in town anyway, don't forget my favorite of all – the Seattle Cheese Festival. An entire festival devoted to cheese. At Pike Place Market. In May. Does it get better than that? Nope, I don't think so, either. Everything you ever wanted to know about cheese and more. While you're there, have a nibble for me, please.
If movies are more your style, you're in luck. The Seattle International Film Festival (SIFF) is in town. The launch party is May 20th and films continue through June 13th. Featuring over 400 films from 60 countries, it claims to be the largest film festival in the country. And it's right in your backyard.
Speaking of movies and film festivals, head to Three Dollar Bill's Cinema (1122 E. Pike Street, #1313, Seattle, 206-323-4274) for the Seattle Transgender Film Festival, May 13-16. It may not be as big or as well-known as the SIFF. As one of the only transgender film festivals in the world, it's just as important.
Are you ready to move out of the audience and onto the stage? That's an option, too! RPlace (619 E. Pine Street, Seattle, 206-322-8828) is holding Pride Idol 2010. The competitions are held several nights during the month of May. Winners get cash, prizes, and a chance to ride in the Pride Parade. More information and full details can be found at www.idol.seattlepride.org.
It's May, Poppets. The weather's drying out, the sun is shining and the flowers are in bloom – at least in my imagination. Shake off the rain and snow of winter, get out, and enjoy a little Spring for me. And until next month, Poppets, take care of you.
Let's be honest, May is a gorgeous time to be in Washington. Plus, the festivals and fairs begin to help show off the state. Seattle offers something for everyone, all month long.
Feel a strong connection to the sea (or the men who sail it)? Be sure to head to the Seattle Maritime Festival May 6-8. It's at Pier 66/Bell Harbor Marina. Admission is free – and you know how much I like free.
Mother's Day is in May, but if your mom is anything like the moms I know, another brunch and heart-shaped necklace will only go over so well. Consider taking her – or your dad, or your best friend – down to Pike Place Market for the Flower Festival instead. May 8 and 9 the streets are brimming with flowers and bouquets. Enjoy just looking at the riot of color or splurge and buy. It's too beautiful to miss, either way.
If you have kids in your life, or still consider yourself a kid, then the Seattle International Children's Festival is for you. It comes to town May 11-15. And don't deny yourself this one; it really is a treat for all of us. Borrow a kid and go.
Don't forget the perennial favorite, the University District street fair. Yes, it's been around forever, but there's a reason for that: it's wonderful. Wander through on the 15th and 16th of the month.
Also on the 15th and 16th, since you're going to be in town anyway, don't forget my favorite of all – the Seattle Cheese Festival. An entire festival devoted to cheese. At Pike Place Market. In May. Does it get better than that? Nope, I don't think so, either. Everything you ever wanted to know about cheese and more. While you're there, have a nibble for me, please.
If movies are more your style, you're in luck. The Seattle International Film Festival (SIFF) is in town. The launch party is May 20th and films continue through June 13th. Featuring over 400 films from 60 countries, it claims to be the largest film festival in the country. And it's right in your backyard.
Speaking of movies and film festivals, head to Three Dollar Bill's Cinema (1122 E. Pike Street, #1313, Seattle, 206-323-4274) for the Seattle Transgender Film Festival, May 13-16. It may not be as big or as well-known as the SIFF. As one of the only transgender film festivals in the world, it's just as important.
Are you ready to move out of the audience and onto the stage? That's an option, too! RPlace (619 E. Pine Street, Seattle, 206-322-8828) is holding Pride Idol 2010. The competitions are held several nights during the month of May. Winners get cash, prizes, and a chance to ride in the Pride Parade. More information and full details can be found at www.idol.seattlepride.org.
It's May, Poppets. The weather's drying out, the sun is shining and the flowers are in bloom – at least in my imagination. Shake off the rain and snow of winter, get out, and enjoy a little Spring for me. And until next month, Poppets, take care of you.
Monday, April 5, 2010
April 1, 2010 (post 2)
It was another 2 post month this month, Blog Readers. Here's the second. The first can be found directly beneath. Take care of you.
Hi Poppets! Can I check in on something with you, please? It’s something I’ve been aware of for years now but has been back up in my face the last month. Why, when we talk about the LGBT community, do we not actually mean the LGBT community? Because we don’t.
My friend, Helen, is bisexual. She has had four long-term, committed, bring-your-partner-home-to-meet-the-family relationships. Two have been with men. Two have been with women. And yes, the last one she had was with a man, whom she married and is still quite happily married to today. She is also still bisexual. He knows it. She certainly knows it. They have an open relationship because, while he is the man she wants to be married to, she is still bisexual, and there are needs he just can’t meet. Mostly, though, their relationship is open in theory alone. Why? Because the attitude is that she is betraying the community by being married to a man; she is, literally, sleeping with the enemy.
My husband, David, still self-identifies as gay. I am the person he loves and I happen to be female. That doesn’t mean he isn’t more attracted to men than he is to women. It means he happened to fall in love with a person, rather than just a gender. However, many of his gay friends have ostracized him, accused him of just “slumming” when he was hanging out with them. I would willingly accept that they just don’t like me – except that the ones who have accused him of the betrayal haven’t and won’t even meet me.
Another friend, Lilo, is bisexual and married, courtesy of Canada, to a woman. Yet she still has to listen to her wife’s friends warn her wife that Lilo will leave her for a man, for the ease of heterosexual life. And not in a joking, fun-loving sort of way, either. They are bitter, spiteful warnings, implicit with, should Lilo leave one day, her wife will only have gotten what she deserved for getting involved with “one of them” anyway.
Excuse me, but what the hell? This makes no sense, Poppets. If what we fight for, what we rally for, is the right to be accepted for who we are and love who we love, why are we not willing to give that same respect to others? Others who we claim to include? Helen still can’t talk openly about going out on a date with a woman because she risks her job if she does (and not because of an adultery clause). David still opted to remove the pink triangle decal from our car before starting a new job, until he gets a feel for how homophobic his new company is. Lilo is still only married because another country gave her that right. They are still facing the ostracism, the less-than attitudes, the danger, the opposition. They shouldn’t have to face it here, among their own community. We should be better than that.
Until next month, Poppets, take care of you – and each other.
Hi Poppets! Can I check in on something with you, please? It’s something I’ve been aware of for years now but has been back up in my face the last month. Why, when we talk about the LGBT community, do we not actually mean the LGBT community? Because we don’t.
My friend, Helen, is bisexual. She has had four long-term, committed, bring-your-partner-home-to-meet-the-family relationships. Two have been with men. Two have been with women. And yes, the last one she had was with a man, whom she married and is still quite happily married to today. She is also still bisexual. He knows it. She certainly knows it. They have an open relationship because, while he is the man she wants to be married to, she is still bisexual, and there are needs he just can’t meet. Mostly, though, their relationship is open in theory alone. Why? Because the attitude is that she is betraying the community by being married to a man; she is, literally, sleeping with the enemy.
My husband, David, still self-identifies as gay. I am the person he loves and I happen to be female. That doesn’t mean he isn’t more attracted to men than he is to women. It means he happened to fall in love with a person, rather than just a gender. However, many of his gay friends have ostracized him, accused him of just “slumming” when he was hanging out with them. I would willingly accept that they just don’t like me – except that the ones who have accused him of the betrayal haven’t and won’t even meet me.
Another friend, Lilo, is bisexual and married, courtesy of Canada, to a woman. Yet she still has to listen to her wife’s friends warn her wife that Lilo will leave her for a man, for the ease of heterosexual life. And not in a joking, fun-loving sort of way, either. They are bitter, spiteful warnings, implicit with, should Lilo leave one day, her wife will only have gotten what she deserved for getting involved with “one of them” anyway.
Excuse me, but what the hell? This makes no sense, Poppets. If what we fight for, what we rally for, is the right to be accepted for who we are and love who we love, why are we not willing to give that same respect to others? Others who we claim to include? Helen still can’t talk openly about going out on a date with a woman because she risks her job if she does (and not because of an adultery clause). David still opted to remove the pink triangle decal from our car before starting a new job, until he gets a feel for how homophobic his new company is. Lilo is still only married because another country gave her that right. They are still facing the ostracism, the less-than attitudes, the danger, the opposition. They shouldn’t have to face it here, among their own community. We should be better than that.
Until next month, Poppets, take care of you – and each other.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
April 1, 2010 (post 1)
Hi Poppets! Guess what? I might be on the move again. I know, I know. Never put my address in permanent ink. That’s just a bad idea. While I always look forward to a move, this one is good for me on another level, as well. This one is causing me to face and rethink some prejudgments I didn’t even realize I had. See, we’re moving to Alaska. Yep, this city girl is going to the home of flannel shirts, lumberjacks, moose and Sarah Palin. Need I say I wasn’t very excited about it at first?
Somewhat grudgingly, I started researching Anchorage. After all, we would need a place to live, buy groceries, see the occasional movie. And what I discovered surprised me. A lot.
Anchorage has a gay scene to rival any city’s in the lower 48 – and better than many – but it’s not just in Anchorage (although in fairness, much of it is in Anchorage but much of everything in Alaska is in Anchorage so…). The whole state has LGBT friendly resorts and towns and tours. Even the main airline, Alaska Airline, is officially one of the best places to work in the US if you are homosexual and/or a transgendered person. Plus, the Alaskan men on the site David and I belong to are oh so numerous and oh so very cute.
It was quite a wake-up call for me. My assumptions were of closed-minded bigots and people who couldn’t make it down here in the contiguous United States. I was already prepping myself to go in as a sociologist, simply observing, keeping my head down until it was time for us to move on. More than being surprised by Alaska, though, I was surprised by myself…and the chip on my shoulder. The negative stereotypes I was so willing to believe, without proof one way or another. Instead, I have found a thriving and healthy LGBT community.
Admittedly, we haven’t moved yet. It may be very different living it than it is researching it. Whatever living it is actually like, though, Anchorage still has an LGBT community center, a PFLAG office, a youth center, an Imperial Court, several dance clubs, and a handful of social clubs. Regardless of if they are there because they are welcome or if they are there because they are fighting for acceptance, they are there. Which is more than I was expecting, or willing to give them.
Learn from my mistakes this month, Poppets. Watch yourselves. Watch your assumptions. Be open to having your minds changed for the better, not just the worse. And until next month, take care of you.
Somewhat grudgingly, I started researching Anchorage. After all, we would need a place to live, buy groceries, see the occasional movie. And what I discovered surprised me. A lot.
Anchorage has a gay scene to rival any city’s in the lower 48 – and better than many – but it’s not just in Anchorage (although in fairness, much of it is in Anchorage but much of everything in Alaska is in Anchorage so…). The whole state has LGBT friendly resorts and towns and tours. Even the main airline, Alaska Airline, is officially one of the best places to work in the US if you are homosexual and/or a transgendered person. Plus, the Alaskan men on the site David and I belong to are oh so numerous and oh so very cute.
It was quite a wake-up call for me. My assumptions were of closed-minded bigots and people who couldn’t make it down here in the contiguous United States. I was already prepping myself to go in as a sociologist, simply observing, keeping my head down until it was time for us to move on. More than being surprised by Alaska, though, I was surprised by myself…and the chip on my shoulder. The negative stereotypes I was so willing to believe, without proof one way or another. Instead, I have found a thriving and healthy LGBT community.
Admittedly, we haven’t moved yet. It may be very different living it than it is researching it. Whatever living it is actually like, though, Anchorage still has an LGBT community center, a PFLAG office, a youth center, an Imperial Court, several dance clubs, and a handful of social clubs. Regardless of if they are there because they are welcome or if they are there because they are fighting for acceptance, they are there. Which is more than I was expecting, or willing to give them.
Learn from my mistakes this month, Poppets. Watch yourselves. Watch your assumptions. Be open to having your minds changed for the better, not just the worse. And until next month, take care of you.
Monday, March 1, 2010
March 2010
Hi Poppets! I’ve been very political recently, I know, but let’s be honest: there is so much going on within and about the community that it’s hard not to be political these days. This month, I told David, was going to be different. This month, I was going to focus on fun, wonderful things to do and leave the politics to my betters. And then I saw a bumper sticker. The bumper sticker read Tolerance Is For People Without Conviction. Are you kidding me? According to the owners of this car, Jesus had no conviction; Nelson Mandela has no conviction; Archbishop Desmond Tutu has no conviction; Mother Teresa had no conviction. With a group like this, maybe I’ll start claiming to have no conviction.
Now, part of me is still furious, as I think you know me well enough to know. However, since I have been very political recently, I think I will stick with my original plan this month. After all, since I have been released from having conviction, let’s look at events coming up in the area…
First, in case you hadn’t noticed, Gay Bingo is back! They’ve moved to a new location at Freemont Studios but it’s still Gay Bingo. It’s still a great night. It still benefits a worthy cause (the Lifelong AIDS Alliance). This month, the theme is When In Rome on March 20th. Next month is Biker Babes on the 17th of April. Doors open at 6:00 pm and the event starts at 7:00. If you want more information, check out http://www.gaybingoseattle.org or http://www.lifelongaidsalliance.org/gaybingo.
Next, the Seattle Men’s Chorus is bringing their Latin music show, Ole! Ole! Ole!, to life on Saturday, April 10th at 8:00 pm and Sunday, April 11th at 2:00 pm. The Saturday night performance is followed by a dance, free to all ticket holders. Get moving at the concert and stay moving into the night, until 1:00 am! Cash bar and food will be available, too. More information can be found here: http://www.flyinghouse.org/smc/ole/.
If you love to dance but country is more your style, check out the Emerald City Hoedown, April 23-25, also in Seattle. Three days of dancing, music, and great people – all to a country western beat, courtesy of Rain Country Dance Association. And no, you don’t have to be a member to attend. While primarily geared toward the LGBT community, Rain Country Dance is straight-friendly, as well, and open to all. Details about the Hoedown and the Association can be found at http://www.raincountrydance.org/hoedown.asp and http://www.raincountrydance.org/index.asp respectively.
Finally, for this article at least, it’s the time of year for Dining Out For Life (http://www.diningoutforlife.com/). Regardless of where you are, you can participate. Take a run up to the Vancouver, B.C. area on the 25th of this month to eat at some fabulous restaurants and then, on April 29th, be in either Seattle or Portland and repeat. Two delicious nights out; one worthy cause.
So, Poppets, if you want to stick to your convictions and keep tolerating, or if you want to throw up your hands for a few weeks and shun those who aren’t lucky enough to be us, here are a few ways to do it in style – snarkiness optional. Whichever you choose, until next month, take care of you.
Now, part of me is still furious, as I think you know me well enough to know. However, since I have been very political recently, I think I will stick with my original plan this month. After all, since I have been released from having conviction, let’s look at events coming up in the area…
First, in case you hadn’t noticed, Gay Bingo is back! They’ve moved to a new location at Freemont Studios but it’s still Gay Bingo. It’s still a great night. It still benefits a worthy cause (the Lifelong AIDS Alliance). This month, the theme is When In Rome on March 20th. Next month is Biker Babes on the 17th of April. Doors open at 6:00 pm and the event starts at 7:00. If you want more information, check out http://www.gaybingoseattle.org or http://www.lifelongaidsalliance.org/gaybingo.
Next, the Seattle Men’s Chorus is bringing their Latin music show, Ole! Ole! Ole!, to life on Saturday, April 10th at 8:00 pm and Sunday, April 11th at 2:00 pm. The Saturday night performance is followed by a dance, free to all ticket holders. Get moving at the concert and stay moving into the night, until 1:00 am! Cash bar and food will be available, too. More information can be found here: http://www.flyinghouse.org/smc/ole/.
If you love to dance but country is more your style, check out the Emerald City Hoedown, April 23-25, also in Seattle. Three days of dancing, music, and great people – all to a country western beat, courtesy of Rain Country Dance Association. And no, you don’t have to be a member to attend. While primarily geared toward the LGBT community, Rain Country Dance is straight-friendly, as well, and open to all. Details about the Hoedown and the Association can be found at http://www.raincountrydance.org/hoedown.asp and http://www.raincountrydance.org/index.asp respectively.
Finally, for this article at least, it’s the time of year for Dining Out For Life (http://www.diningoutforlife.com/). Regardless of where you are, you can participate. Take a run up to the Vancouver, B.C. area on the 25th of this month to eat at some fabulous restaurants and then, on April 29th, be in either Seattle or Portland and repeat. Two delicious nights out; one worthy cause.
So, Poppets, if you want to stick to your convictions and keep tolerating, or if you want to throw up your hands for a few weeks and shun those who aren’t lucky enough to be us, here are a few ways to do it in style – snarkiness optional. Whichever you choose, until next month, take care of you.
Monday, February 1, 2010
February 2010
Hi Poppets! Have you seen the movie Avatar, yet? I have a confession: I have not. Not being much of a fantasy geek, it just doesn’t hold that much interest for me, even if it is on track to being one of the top-grossing movies of all time. It seems everyone has something to say about it though, which is why I think I’m probably the only person in America who hasn’t seen it yet. Generally speaking, I don’t listen to reviews much. As a writer, I know how subjective they are. However, one particular review (in fairness, posted on Facebook by the friend of a friend of mine) led me down some interesting paths.
The FB post was written by Mark (not his real name) who happens to be a black man. His comment was “once again, the white man saves the day, but it was still a great movie.” When my friend, who happens to be a white woman, told me about this comment, she finished with the aside, “Mark’s gotten a little militant.” My response was “Actually, so have I.” And we both laughed and that was the end of it.
Only it wasn’t the end of it for me. That line, Mark’s gotten a little militant has stayed with me. At what point did acknowledging subtle, culture-wide, frustratingly acceptable prejudices mean one was militant?
Over the last several months, I’ve read bloggers and articles from people of color, women, members of the LGBT community, and yes, even some white, straight folks, who are pointing out these prejudices in everything from comic books to public policy. Movies where the supposedly strong woman still has to be rescued by her male counterpart. Comic books where the token gay character is nothing more than an animated stereotype. Policy that claims to protect one group of people, while throwing another group under the bus. And let’s not forget the justice of the peace at the end of last year who refused to grant a marriage license to an inter-racial couple because of the “emotional harm” society could do to any children resulting from the marriage.
My friend and I grew up together. We wore out cassette tapes of South African songs of freedom. We wrote letters to politicians. We wore ribbons and peace signs (back before they were in style again). Now, twenty-five years later, a black man acknowledging – with humor, nonetheless – the underlying theme of the white man saving the day is militant.
I’ll be honest; I’ve never considered myself militant. I am an unapologetic rights activist. I write for the Betty Pages, even though I’m a straight woman. I write about the racism surrounding our President even though I’m a white woman. The Constitution still means something very important to me. I listen and I talk; I teach and I learn. Does that make me militant? Maybe. Apparently. But I can live with that. For me, it beats the alternative of silence.
And, on an only slightly related note (so please forgive the bad segue), I don’t only call out others when I think they’ve been wrong. I try to admit it when I am, as well. Last month, I called out the President for not standing up more strongly for the LGBT community. Since then, Mr. Obama has appointed the first openly transgendered woman to a Presidential position. Amanda Simpson, formerly Mitchell Simpson, will be a senior technical advisor to the Commerce Department. This is the bravest step any president has ever taken on our behalf, don’t fool yourself. Thank you, sir, for proving me wrong. In spite of last month’s article, I still believe this man is a friend of ours and supports us. If I’m going to call out others, I should call out myself as well. That, too, beats the alternative of silence.
Until next month, Poppets, take care of you.
The FB post was written by Mark (not his real name) who happens to be a black man. His comment was “once again, the white man saves the day, but it was still a great movie.” When my friend, who happens to be a white woman, told me about this comment, she finished with the aside, “Mark’s gotten a little militant.” My response was “Actually, so have I.” And we both laughed and that was the end of it.
Only it wasn’t the end of it for me. That line, Mark’s gotten a little militant has stayed with me. At what point did acknowledging subtle, culture-wide, frustratingly acceptable prejudices mean one was militant?
Over the last several months, I’ve read bloggers and articles from people of color, women, members of the LGBT community, and yes, even some white, straight folks, who are pointing out these prejudices in everything from comic books to public policy. Movies where the supposedly strong woman still has to be rescued by her male counterpart. Comic books where the token gay character is nothing more than an animated stereotype. Policy that claims to protect one group of people, while throwing another group under the bus. And let’s not forget the justice of the peace at the end of last year who refused to grant a marriage license to an inter-racial couple because of the “emotional harm” society could do to any children resulting from the marriage.
My friend and I grew up together. We wore out cassette tapes of South African songs of freedom. We wrote letters to politicians. We wore ribbons and peace signs (back before they were in style again). Now, twenty-five years later, a black man acknowledging – with humor, nonetheless – the underlying theme of the white man saving the day is militant.
I’ll be honest; I’ve never considered myself militant. I am an unapologetic rights activist. I write for the Betty Pages, even though I’m a straight woman. I write about the racism surrounding our President even though I’m a white woman. The Constitution still means something very important to me. I listen and I talk; I teach and I learn. Does that make me militant? Maybe. Apparently. But I can live with that. For me, it beats the alternative of silence.
And, on an only slightly related note (so please forgive the bad segue), I don’t only call out others when I think they’ve been wrong. I try to admit it when I am, as well. Last month, I called out the President for not standing up more strongly for the LGBT community. Since then, Mr. Obama has appointed the first openly transgendered woman to a Presidential position. Amanda Simpson, formerly Mitchell Simpson, will be a senior technical advisor to the Commerce Department. This is the bravest step any president has ever taken on our behalf, don’t fool yourself. Thank you, sir, for proving me wrong. In spite of last month’s article, I still believe this man is a friend of ours and supports us. If I’m going to call out others, I should call out myself as well. That, too, beats the alternative of silence.
Until next month, Poppets, take care of you.
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