tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23333025839605545312024-02-08T07:17:30.733-08:00The Life and Times of Bridget AdamsThese are articles that I have written for The Betty Pages, a wonderful LGBT/alt newspaper out of Bellingham, WA. They will only appear once the current issue of The Betty Pages has been published. And of course, I retain copyright. ;) Hope you enjoy.Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.comBlogger120125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-78560571841420999232017-01-01T00:30:00.000-08:002017-01-01T00:30:10.019-08:00January 1, 2017<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">2017. A new year. And I, like many others, won’t be sorry to see 2016 go. While I am known for discouraging new year resolutions, and it would be so easy to tell you to just keep your head down this year particularly, I can’t do that. This year, I’m making resolutions – and asking you to do the same.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">This year, starting now, I’m going to ask you to:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Boycott, and boycott wisely. Want a list of companies that do business with the Trump family? You can find it at www.grabyourwallet.com. Now, I personally, am not going to boycott every company that sells Trump family brands, but I understand if others choose to. I’m going to focus on the brands themselves, on the companies who have made it a part of who they are to support him directly, and also the states whose legislatures are backing the white supremacist, alt-right movement of the country.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Stay informed. Wow, I want to disconnect. I want to turn off the news and turn up the music and not feel this. But that is exactly the opposite of what needs to happen right now. We have to see it, acknowledge it, feel it, and refuse to ignore or normalize it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Have a plan. I have a plan for my safety, for my family’s safety, and for how I can make the country safe for others. So, I guess this one is have three plans. Let me be clear, no one, no cause, no issue is owed your personal safety, welfare, or livelihood. That being said, we must start looking out for each other. But doing it on the fly only contributes to making a bad situation worse. So have a plan. Know what you’re going to do should you experience hate, should you witness hate.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Remember you CAN be part of the problem. Writing for The Betty Pages and reading The Betty Pages, it’s a damn good bet we’re marginalized. And it’s easy to think that makes us exempt from being part of the problem. But white people carry privilege in this country – so if we’re white (which I am), we’re privileged, even if we’re also marginalized elsewhere. Same with being male…Christian…able-bodied…economically secure…even things like thin or literate, that might slip your mind…the vast majority of us are privileged in some way. Don’t get so wrapped up in your own marginalization that you lose sight of how you may be contributing to someone else’s marginalization and pain.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Acknowledge intersectionality is a thing. Stand in solidarity with other marginalized groups. Stand with straight women. And women of color. And cis-gendered disabled men. And the Jewish and Muslim communities. The sad truth is that people in power tend to listen more closely to people who look like them. So use whatever privilege you do have to speak with and stand for whoever you can.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Don’t get bogged down. Prioritize self-care. Yes, this last one may seem to be contradictory, but work to find balance. The new administration is just coming into power this month. We have a minimum of four years to get through. Pace yourself. Keep your plans, your awareness, your involvement at levels you can maintain and survive. Take breaks when you need to.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It’s a new year, and it’s not filled with much hope. But we will get through it. We can. We must.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Until next month, take care of you – and each other.</span><br />
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Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-19863627737239791462016-12-01T01:00:00.000-08:002016-12-01T01:00:16.188-08:00December 1, 2016<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It’s Christmas, Hanukkah, Yule, and time for the secular
visit from Santa my friends! Which also means, in spite of everything else
that’s happening around us right now, there’s a special something in the air. A
something that makes it easy to want to give, to take care of each other, to
help the less fortunate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Now, if you aren’t giving, can’t give, or don’t want to,
that’s your business and I truly do not judge (and not in that “I’m not
judging” way that your aunt has which means she’s actually judging the shit out
of you, but real and genuine not judging).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">However, if you’re looking to give, may I suggest making
your holiday giving just a little different than it has been in the past.
Consider…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Planned Parenthood</b>.
1530 Ellis Street, Bellingham, WA. <a href="https://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-center/washington/bellingham/98225/bellingham-health-center-2454-91780">https://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-center/washington/bellingham/98225/bellingham-health-center-2454-91780</a>
Think they’re just for straight women? Think again. Right there on their site
is the fact that they offer LGBT services and men’s health services. But at
this point, let’s be honest – most of the straight women who access Planned Parenthood
are as vulnerable as we are. Intersectionality is a thing, people. So the
organization needs support, regardless.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>The Council on
American-Islamic Relations (CAIR</b>). The closest branch is in Seattle, and
you can find more information here: <a href="http://cairseattle.org/">http://cairseattle.org/</a>
For many people, this one is a little scary. We’ve been taught to be afraid.
Getting past that fear is important, though. Not sure where to start? The
landing page of CAIR Seattle (at the time of this writing, anyway) has an
article titled <i>How to Be an Ally and a
Friend</i>. You don’t have to be perfect. You do have to care.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Want to keep it a little more in the family, so to speak? <b>Muslims for Progressive Values</b> out of
California is openly and directly allied with the LGBTQ community. You can find
them here: <a href="http://www.mpvusa.org/">http://www.mpvusa.org/</a> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>NW Immigration Rights
Project</b>. <a href="https://www.nwirp.org/">https://www.nwirp.org/</a> Their
core values are dignity, fairness, solidarity, self-determination, safety, and
inclusion. If we in the LGBTQ community don’t understand the absolutely vital
necessity of these principles, then no one does. Don’t let the fear mongers
teach you anything else.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Here’s the thing, though – some people are over being
political. Or aren’t at all. Or need a break. Or just want to make a kid smile
on the holiday. You can do that, too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The <b>Whatcom County
Food Bank</b> at 1824 Ellis Street is happy to take donations. Just stop by
Monday through Friday. Also, if you’re over people but want to help animals,
they accept pet food donations on behalf of the Humane Society.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The <b>Northwest Youth
Services</b> (http://www.nwys.org/always-needed-items/), <b>Lydia’s Place </b>(http://lydiaplace.org/support/), <b>Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault</b>
Services (http://dvsas.org/get-involved/donate/)are three of the many
organizations that need and take donations. If none of these work for you, call
the local churches, temples, and senior centers. They will have options and
resources for you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It may seem very dark right now. It may stay very dark for a
while. But the holidays are a time we can push back against the dark, bring in
a little light. And trust me when I tell
you that the people in need aren’t the only ones who will feel better if you give.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Whatever you celebrate, may it be joyous and blessed. And until
next month – next <i>year</i> – take care of
you.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-67515825881842211602016-11-01T07:21:00.000-07:002016-11-13T07:22:03.451-08:00November 1, 2016<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s November, which means for many of us, myself included, it’s Thanksgiving time. For others, it’s a problematic holiday, and I really get that. So instead of focusing on the day or the holiday, let’s focus on the idea of being thankful. Because, let’s be honest, it can feel like it’s hard to find anything to be thankful for these days.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">States are passing oppressive and dangerous anti-trans laws; employment and safety laws are being diluted and eroded; and a major candidate for president refers to us as “the gays” (and so much more, but I promised myself I wouldn’t go there today…).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, yeah, it’s hard to find something to be thankful for. But that doesn’t mean it’s not there.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This month, rather than get bogged down in the governments, businesses, and communities that hate us, I’m choosing to be thankful for the businesses and communities that are standing with us, pushing back, and declaring our side to be their side.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now, the truth is that I struggle with having allies and my response to them. Because being an ally means standing with a group of people who are not the people in power. Otherwise, they wouldn’t need allies. On the one hand, I think we should support allies back. Praise them. Thank them. Give them our time, money, and/or energy in return.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">However, I also understand the response that says “I’m not going to give cookies to someone for treating me like the human being I actually am.” I get that side of it, too. Which is why I struggle.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So for me, I will be giving these companies my money and my support – and my thanks – this month, and as often as possible. While you have to make the decision for yourself, I can at least put these names in front of you, and let you decide.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Since we’re into the holiday season (again, for many of us), let’s look at some basic categories:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Grocery stores: Kroger brands gets 100% from the Human Rights Campaign. Here in Bellingham, that’s Fred Meyers. Wal-Mart, as much as I hate to give them props for anything, gets a 90. Whole Foods gets an 85, and SuperValu – or the Haggen's here in town – gets an 80. That’s not say that other stores in the area are bad. It just means I can’t find a rating or an official policy for them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Retail shops: The very cool part about this category is that I can give you several stores that get 100s, and this is nowhere close to an all-inclusive list. Best Buy, Barnes and Noble, GameStop, Hallmark, Home Depot, JC Penney, and Target. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Miscellaneous: CVS, Chevron, Seattle’s Best Coffee, Starbucks, and Walgreens all also merit 100s.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Important Holiday Stuff (booze, I’m talking about booze): MANY liquor companies get 100% from the HRC. Some specific options, but not anywhere close to all of them – Bacardi; Bailey’s; Bodega Elena de Mendoza; Glenlivet; Jack Daniels; and Seagrams.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And, one last thought, in case you’re interested… the Trump Organization ranked 0.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Until next month, take care of you – and each other.</span><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-40043359877935404392016-10-01T07:20:00.000-07:002016-11-13T07:20:43.019-08:00October 1, 2016<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I started writing for Betty in 2007. Since 2008, every
single October I have written about Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Because
not only is it the cause that’s dearest to my heart, every September there has
been an LGBTQ domestic violence episode in the news, in my life, somewhere
putting it right up in my face that this topic must be talked about. That
domestic violence occurs every single day within our very own community. That
abusers aren’t only straight, cis men.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Until this year. It has taken nine years, but there is no
national headline, no personal phone call, no friend in need this year. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But guess what? Domestic violence still occurs every single
day within our community. Within every community. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As much as I want to be thrilled that there’s nothing in the
news, no immediate reminder, I can’t be. Because it just means I haven’t heard
about it. Not that it hasn’t happened. Maybe you haven’t heard about it either.
It’s still happening.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, I’m going to, once again, tell you about the NW Network
in Seattle, a domestic violence and sexual assault organization created specifically
to serve the LGBTQ community. If you need them – if you are a victim, if you
are looking for information and resources, if you want to help a loved one, or
if you just have questions – they’re here for you. This month, they’re running
a 7 week class entitled “Grrrl, We Got You.” It’s a strategy and exploration
lab on community response to violence. While there is a suggested donation, no
one will be turned away due to lack of funds. Reach them online at: <a href="http://www.nwnetwork.org/">http://www.nwnetwork.org/</a> or on the phone for
help and support during regular business hours at: 206-568-7777. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And about the Skagit Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
Services, out of Mount Vernon. While they are not specifically an LGBTQ
organization, they are committed to helping anyone who calls access
information, resources, and help. They have many services, including support
groups. And their annual Black and White Masquerade Auction is this month on
the 22<sup>nd</sup>. Tickets are running about $65 and masks are even provided.
Learn more about the event, the organization, or get help here: <a href="http://www.skagitdvsas.org/index.html">http://www.skagitdvsas.org/index.html</a>.
To get help, call their 24-hour hotline: (888) 336-9591.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And about Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Services
right here in Bellingham. When I called, they assured me that their resources
are available to us, their shelters are open to anyone who identifies as
female, and their volunteers get training on LGBTQ issues. You don’t have to
travel just to get help. And next month, you can be a part of their largest
fundraiser – Hands for Hope Auction and Gala. Stand up against domestic
violence and sexual assault as if affects everyone. Get help, get access, and
learn more about them at: <a href="http://dvsas.org/">http://dvsas.org/</a> or if
you need assistance, call the hotline at: 877.715.1563 or 360.715.1563.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s October. And as much as I love warm fires, chilly
nights, and the turning of the leaves, October really means my heart is one
place, if the news cycle is or not.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-62690800496162756712016-09-01T07:19:00.000-07:002016-11-13T07:19:25.378-08:00September 1, 2016<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you’re like me, you’re hearing a lot of people talking
about third party candidates. About write-in candidates. About boycotting the
election entirely.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Believe me, I get it. I felt the Bern. And, while I don’t
dislike Hillary Clinton as much as many people do, she doesn’t represent the
great leap forward that our country was poised to make.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But that’s my opinion. Those are my feelings. And while I
can be as heart-based as the next person, it’s vital that this election be
decided on facts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Facts like these:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fact 1: There are only three presidential candidates who are
going to be on the ballot in all 50 states: Donald Trump, Gary Johnson, and
Hillary Clinton. However you may feel about Jill Stein, she is not going to be
on the ballot in all 50 states. She cannot win the presidency.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fact 2: Gary Johnson is a Libertarian. Now, an aside and full
disclosure - in my deepest heart of hearts, so am I. I love the Libertarian
ideals. The idea of small government. Of leaving major decisions up to the
states and the people. I don’t want to live in a world that has to have
government control, oversight, and regulation. I would dearly love for
businesses to police themselves, employers to always do what’s right, states to
consider their entire population as opposed to just the wealthy, and medical
care to be affordable. All that and more. I believe deeply in personal
responsibility and accountability. I also recognize that this is not who we are
as a people. When left to our own devices, we screw it up. HOWEVER! That’s an
opinion and we are looking at facts. So here are the facts* that come with Gary
Johnson:</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><!--[endif]-->He wants government out of marriage. He supports
marriage equality. But before the government got involved in marriage equality,
it didn’t exist. It took the government to make our marriages legal – and
Johnson is against that kind of intervention.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">·<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->He wants to leave educating our children to the
states, with no federal oversight. Which means children from different states
will be taught different curricula. Nevermind what’s real, what’s belief,
what’s science, what’s not, what’s historically accurate, what’s not. Put that
aside for a moment. Children who come from the same country will be taught
different information because their states got to choose what to teach them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">·<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->He believes in unlimited campaign contributions
from corporations to politicians. Hillary Clinton is being raked over the coals
because she’s “in Wall Street’s pocket.” Think about what unlimited campaign
contributions from corporations would do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">·<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->He cut his state’s Medicaid and Medicare budgets
by 43%. So, the federal government isn’t responsible for the country’s most
vulnerable – but the states can slice budgets by nearly half.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">·<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->He’s against a federal minimum wage. Enough
said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">·<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->He wants to privatize social security and raise
the retirement to age 70 or even 72. Social security is our money. We made it.
We gave it over. We had an agreement. Now, he wants to change that agreement.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And here’s the final piece, folks – Stein nor Johnson nor
any other third party candidate or write in candidate is going to win this
year. It would be lovely if Bernie could get enough write-ins to win. But he
couldn’t get enough actual votes to even secure the nomination. He’s not going
to get the win.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fact 3: It’s a race between Hillary Clinton and Donald
Trump. No matter who’s on the ballot, that’s the fact. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You’ve got two months to participate or not in this
election, however you see fit. You get out and knock on doors, make phone
calls, or sit quietly and do nothing. You can stomp and rage and protest, or
just quietly seethe that your candidate didn’t win. Argue it, or shut it down
with silence. Engage or ignore. I do not care.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But come November, vote. You must. This is not the year to
not vote. Or to try to take a stand by voting for a third party. Look at the
facts. Look at what’s at stake. And whatever you do over the next two months,
come November, vote.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
*http://www.ontheissues.org/Gary_Johnson.htm <o:p></o:p></div>
Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-9083795573241607772016-08-01T07:17:00.000-07:002016-11-13T07:17:25.430-08:00August 1, 2016<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How was your Pride last month? I truly hope it was special.
Back in June, we went to David’s first ever Pride Parade in Boston. Next month,
we’re hoping to catch the Pride events in Worcester, where we currently call
home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m starting with that question because I am doggedly
determined to write a happy, uplifting, peaceful article this month. Why?
Because as I’m writing it, the Republican National Convention is going on.
Donald Trump has just given the American people the chance to put Mike Pence a
bad cold away from the Oval Office. And the nation is still reeling from gun
violence. Expect articles on all of that as both situations develop – but for
now, I’m focused on something else. At least for a month.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So here’s that something else, something that happened last
month. The very same week I wrote this article and everything I just mentioned
went down, in fact.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The California State Board of Education unanimously passed a
ground-breaking LGBTQ addition to the history/social sciences curriculum. Come
this fall when public schools go back into session, the history, rights, and
accomplishments of LGBTQ peoples will be part of the everyday curriculum.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Starting in 2<sup>nd</sup> grade, students will learn about
same-sex couples. By 4<sup>th</sup> grade, they’ll be learning about the LGBTQ
organizations that came about as early as the 1950s. In middle school, they’ll
move on the evolution of gender norms in the 18<sup>th</sup>-20<sup>th</sup>
centuries – and the people who pushed back against them. By the time California
public school students are in high school, they will be learning about the laws
and struggles happening currently, like the fight for marriage equality and the
anti-trans bathroom bills in states nationally.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And the new regulations go one step further – not only are
the new classrooms inclusive, anti-LGBTQ teachings are banned. There’s no
exception for “religious freedom” or any attempt at being “fair and balanced.”
We exist. We were oppressed. We are marginalized. We continue to fight back. We
continue to contribute. We matter. There is no counter-argument.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The need for this is clear. And not just because our history
IS American history. But because according to a 2013 national survey, 74% of
LGBTQ middle and high school students experienced verbal harassment due their
orientation and identity. In schools without explicitly inclusive materials,
60% of LGBTQ students report feeling unsafe. That number drops to 30% in
schools with explicitly inclusive materials.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now, I’m me, which means I look at most things with a
heaping spoonful of skepticism. I am concerned that we still desperately need a
Black History Month, but the history of LGBTQ people gets fully incorporated
into the daily curriculum. Will this include LGBTQ people of color? Or is there
going to be a white-washing? Are transmen and –women going to be truly
included? Or is it going to be the history and struggle of white, gay men –
which counts and is part of the story, but nowhere near the full story.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don’t mean to end on a skeptical note, and I am definitely
excited about this move. It has the potential to be huge. So come on,
California, don’t screw this up. The nation is watching, and we could really
use some good news.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Until next month, take care of you – and each other.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sources: <a href="http://www.attn.com/stories/9981/california-to-start-teaching-lgbt-rights-movement-in-public-schools">http://www.attn.com/stories/9981/california-to-start-teaching-lgbt-rights-movement-in-public-schools</a><o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-lgbt-curriculum-california-20160714-snap-story.html">http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-lgbt-curriculum-california-20160714-snap-story.html</a>
<o:p></o:p></div>
Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-34529094418526315922016-07-01T07:15:00.000-07:002016-11-13T07:15:47.643-08:00July 2016<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Like every other LGBTQ columnist out there, I’m writing about Orlando this month. If it’s too much, I get it. I do. Skip this one, and I’ll see you again in August. I love you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For those of you still with me – I love you. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Somehow, I think that’s important to say to each other right now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">49 of our brothers, sisters, and siblings were killed last month because someone hated us. We need to speak of love.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes, anger. Yes, pain. Yes, action. I will not tell you to turn the other cheek or let it roll of your back or any of those things.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But also, love.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Because there are three communities that have been torn apart by one man’s hate:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The LGBTQ community</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The Latinx community</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The Muslim community</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Breaking it down – </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The LGBTQ community. Obviously. We were targeted. We were hunted. We were slaughtered. It wasn’t a terror attack on a mall or sporting event where LGBTQ peoples could have been among the victims. This was a terror attack against us.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The Latinx community. Along those same lines, the killer researched the nightclub, its calendar, the crowd. He chose Latin night. Yes, we white members of the LGBTQ community deserve to fell attacked and threatened. It wasn’t just a racist act. There were plenty of straight Latin clubs he could’ve targeted but didn’t. But nor can we erase the fact that it was also a racist act, perpetrated against a very specific people.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The Muslim community. I don’t know how many times it has to be said before the media and political pundits start repeating it, but Islam is a peaceful religion. It’s been co-opted by some hateful, hate-filled extremists, but Islam itself is neither. Yet part of the reason the media and the political pundits were so fast to declare it domestic terrorism was because the killer fit the convenient, saleable profile of a terrorist. And no, I don’t believe he did it for ISIS, in spite of his claims. I believe he, too, knew that radicalized Islam would lend a sick legitimacy to his actions so he didn’t have to admit just how much he hated us.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Which brings us back to hate. Because he did hate. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He didn’t know the 49. He didn’t care to know the 49. He only knew hate.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So…I love you. I love you for exactly who you are. I’m not saying that should make everything better. In fact, I doubt it will make anything better. I still love you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Because it’s all I have. Because love beats hate. Because if one man’s hate can do this much damage, maybe one person’s love can help, even a little bit.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So – I love you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Until next month, take care of you – and each other.</span><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-84651014108434962382016-06-01T10:51:00.000-07:002016-06-13T10:51:53.774-07:00June 1, 2016<span style="font-size: large;">The day I wrote this article, the United States House of Representatives voted down a bill that would have protected LGBTQ rights. The bill, which was actually expected to pass, would’ve made it illegal for federal contractors to fire employees based on orientation.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">It missed by one vote, failing 212 to 213.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">This article almost didn’t get written. I almost emailed Betty and said “I have nothing for you this month.” Because I was almost beaten. The hate that is being spewed – not only without fear of repercussion but with authority and legitimacy – very nearly got to me this month.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I texted my sister because I had nothing. It’s not that I didn’t have an idea. Writer’s block sucks but it’s part of being a professional writer. You learn to just start putting words on the page and next thing you know, you’ve got an article, or an essay, or a chapter, or whatever. The day I wrote this, my nothing was more than that.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I couldn’t bring myself to write an events article. Not with all the government sanctioned hate happening to us right now. But I couldn’t bring myself to write another article about the hate. Not this month. I had … nothing.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">And then my sister texted me back. My niece, her daughter, is in the 5th grade. Goes to public school. In the interest of full disclosure, she goes to public school in one of the most liberal, tipped all the way over to the left, artsy, earthy crunchy towns in the entire country. She still goes to public school. Here in the United States.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Two of her friends, her schoolmates, are transgender girls. Openly, happily, supported by parents and community alike. In 4th and 5th grade.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">My friends, Darin and David, have become foster parents in order to begin the process of adoption. They’re in Oregon.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">My friends, Christine and Teresa, just up and got married at the spur of the moment last month. They’re in Connecticut.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">And another friend (who shall also remain unidentified, because he’s a minor) has come out to his friends, his school, and his mom as definitely gay, possibly transgender, and certainly bigender. He’s in Maryland (and still requests male pronouns, just to be clear).</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Five instances of love don’t even count as a drop given the tsunami of hatred that’s rushing toward us right now – and yet they MUST matter. They DO matter.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Because it is different. And I have to believe that we will push back against the hate. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Now is not an easy time. I’m deeply afraid it will get worse before it gets better. And – it is different. So I hold onto that. Because that’s something.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Until next month, Poppets, take care of you – and each other.</span><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-77761164474101281962016-05-01T10:50:00.000-07:002016-06-13T10:50:33.058-07:00May 1, 2016<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">There’s a sense growing in the United States that scares me,
Poppets. There’s a sense that Ted Cruz is a viable, saner, more palatable
alternative to Donald Trump. Oh, Poppets, this is a road we must not go down.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Now, I realize that I am probably not talking to that many
Republican voters right now. That most of you are staunchly entrenched in the
Hillary or Bernie camps. What scares me, though, are those of you who might be
so firmly entrenched in their respective candidate’s camp that you’re also in the
PUMA (Party Unity My Ass) camp.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Don’t get me wrong – I understand it. We have had candidates
shoved down our throats. We have voted for the lesser of two evils. We have
been stuck with nominees who considered us afterthoughts, at best, and
second-class citizens, at worst (and that’s within the Democratic party!). If
your candidate doesn’t become the nominee, I really do understand how easy it
would be to not vote for the other in November. Or to vote for a third,
independent candidate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">But here’s the truth – that is voting for the Republican
candidate. Silence, in whatever form it takes, always empowers the oppressor.
You can argue all you want, but the fact remains that not voting, or throwing
away your vote simply to be able to stand there and say “oh, but I did vote!”
is voting for the other side.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Which brings me back to the opening paragraph – people are
starting to see Ted Cruz as a viable, saner alternative to Donald Trump. And
it’s making people believe that, so long as Donald Trump isn’t nominated in
November, it’s okay to be in the PUMA party. It’s okay to not vote for Hillary
or Bernie, because hey, Ted Cruz may win, but it’s not Trump, so it’s okay!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">No. No, it’s not.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Do not fall into this trap, Poppets. Cruz is calmer. He is
more likeable. He’s friendlier – but do not mistake that for being nicer. Or
kinder. Or saner.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">He wants to patrol Muslim neighborhoods. (<a href="http://www.cnn.com/2016/03/22/politics/ted-cruz-muslim-neighborhoods/">http://www.cnn.com/2016/03/22/politics/ted-cruz-muslim-neighborhoods/</a>)
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">He wants to keep Christianity and the 10 Commandments in the
“public sphere”, completely disregarding the separation of church and state and
the, you know, millions of nonChristians who live here. (<a href="http://www.ontheissues.org/Ted_Cruz.htm">http://www.ontheissues.org/Ted_Cruz.htm</a>)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">He wants to outlaw a woman’s right to choose what she can do
with her own body. (<a href="http://www.ontheissues.org/Ted_Cruz.htm">http://www.ontheissues.org/Ted_Cruz.htm</a>)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">And he considers our very existence a “moral decay” and a
“crisis.” (<a href="http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2016/01/27/3743336/cruz-gay-marriage-iowa/">http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2016/01/27/3743336/cruz-gay-marriage-iowa/</a>)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Go ahead. Disagree with Hillary or Bernie. Argue, debate,
fight, protest, volunteer. For God’s sake VOTE. But come November, put it
aside. Even if your candidate didn’t win the nomination. Because Ted Cruz is
not a saner alternative to Donald Trump. Just a quieter one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Until next month, Poppets, take care of you – and each
other.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-51082863888528437782016-04-01T10:48:00.000-07:002016-06-13T10:49:03.518-07:00April 1, 2016<span style="font-size: large;">This article’s going to be short, Poppets, because sometimes it doesn’t take many words to say what I want to say.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">April 25th is the last day you can register to vote or update your voter registration status online. In other words, if you want to be able to vote in the Presidential primary next month, it helps to be on top of it this month. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">May 16th is the last day to register IN PERSON to vote in the Presidential primary. But you have to be able to get to the County Auditor’s Office. In Bellingham, that’s at 311 Grand Avenue, suite 103.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">All voters are encouraged to register early in order to prevent delays, glitches, or other issues.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">And do not for a moment, Poppets, believe that the nominees are inevitable, have already been decided. THEY HAVEN’T. I know it doesn’t feel like your vote counts, but it’s important to vote anyway.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Think of it this way – if everyone who didn’t vote because their vote “didn’t matter” it would be enough people to change the outcome. Don’t be one of those people.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Don’t like any of the candidates? I feel your pain. Vote anyway. Vote against a candidate instead of voting for one. There are candidates running this year who hate us. They aren’t afraid. It’s not a difference of opinion. They hate us. Vote against them, or you are voting for them. Doing nothing favors the other side. It just does.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">The names on the ballot come November matter. They matter deeply. Take a stand. Have a voice. Participate. Changes always start small, with one person. November isn’t that far away. You could even say it starts this month. So you start this month, too.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Start this month. This election. This vote. It matters because you matter. Because we matter.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Until next month, Poppets, take care of you – and each other.</span><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-57339429901629236732016-03-01T10:47:00.000-08:002016-06-13T10:47:43.244-07:00March 1, 2016<span style="font-size: large;">It’s March, Poppets. We’ve almost made it through winter. The cold, the rain, the dark…it’s almost behind us for another year.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Here’s more good news, just about the time you’re thinking it might be nice to get out, shake off the winter blahs and go do something, there are things to do!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">If you’re really looking to get out of town for a bit – and we all know a little travel is good for the soul, especially after a long period of hibernation – Dine Around Seattle runs Sundays through Thursdays, this month from March 6th through the 31st. Participating restaurants are offering three-course meals for $33. Some are even offering $18 lunches! For more information and a list of participants, go to www.dinearoundseattle.org or call 206.629.2346 x 4.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Closer to home, the First Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) hosts a community meal that’s open to the public, free of charge, one Sunday a month. This month, it’s the 13th. In April, it’s the 10th. Lunch is from 2:00 to 3:30 both days. If you’re interested in volunteering to help set up, clean up, or just be an official pair of hands, give them a call at (360) 734-6820. And don’t be worried about being judged at a Christian church. First Christian is open and affirming, which means they actively welcome and provide safe space for us.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">March 19th brings the Farmers’ Market. Hopefully, you’re already familiar with it, but just in case you’re not – 10:00 am to 3:00 pm at the Depot Market Square. And by April, they’re back to their regular schedule instead of their winter one. Told you we were almost through it!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Also, on the 19th, Whatcom Community College is offering a course on Energy Medicine for You and Your Health. It’s been a long winter. We’re moving into what is guaranteed to be a contentious and truly vicious presidential campaign. Learn some ways to take care of and protect yourself, spiritually and emotionally. The cost is $35 and you should preregister. Call (360) 383-3200 or go to www.whatcom.ctc.edu to learn more.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Need some good old fashioned, family-friendly fun? Try the Purim Carnival hosted by Congregation Beth Israel. It’s Sunday, March 20th, starting at 11:30 am, in Donovan Park. Call (360) 733-8890 for more details.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">And finally, April 1st starts the Skagit County Tulip Festival and all the many events that happen down there this time of year. You can find them on Facebook for up to the minute information and schedules.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Spring is on its way, Poppets. Let’s get out and enjoy it!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Until next month, take care of you – and each other.</span><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-90501458249386499792016-02-01T10:45:00.000-08:002016-06-13T10:46:13.292-07:00February 1, 2016<span style="font-size: large;">It’s award season, Poppets, and for many of us that’s a fabulous time. The glitz and glitter. The clothes. The gorgeous people out looking their most dashing and beautiful. What’s not to love?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Except…</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Except that the Academy Awards nominations are entirely white throughout every single major category this year. Think about that: every nominee, of every gender, in every major category is one race – white.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">But guess what? The host is black! So it’s okay, right? In other words, the man providing the entertainment is allowed to be a man of color, just not the award winners. Sounds remarkably like the minstrel shows, of you think about it. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">And let’s get this out of the way, too – I have NO quarrel with Chris Rock. First, he took the gig long before the nominations were announced and second, the man is allowed to cash his paycheck. If he’s comfortable taking the money, I am not about to tell him he’s out of place.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">However, white people being amused and entertained by a black man – while honoring themselves and no one else? That I have a problem with.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">And, honestly, you should, too. First, because the LGBTQ community includes people of color. When people of color are left out of anything, it means some of our own are being excluded. Then, because there is overlap here, even for those of us who are not people of color. Because white, cis, straight must not be the only things of value in our society. Yet we are told over and over and over again that they are. That white, straight, and cis are all that matter.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Even the times our stories are being told by Hollywood, they are being told too often by white, straight, and cis people. <i>The Dallas Buyers Club</i> and Jared Leto. <i>Transparent</i> and Jeffery Tambor. <i>About Ray</i> and Elle Fanning. <i>The Danish Girl</i> and Eddie Redmayne. And don’t get me started on what happened with <i>Stonewall</i>. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Yes, these are brilliant performances by brilliant actors (with the notable exception of <i>Stonewall</i>, which was pretty bad all the way around). They are still white, straight, cis actors telling these stories – because, as we keep seeing, white, straight and cis is what’s considered valuable.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I’ve also heard the argument that there aren’t enough transgender actors who are talented enough to play the roles. While I have no definitive proof that this isn’t true, I still call bullshit. You know why? Because it’s the exact same argument that gets used to justify why there are so few people of color in any role of responsibility, from acting to Wall Street. It’s the same argument that gets used when yet another man gets a promotion or a six-figure job and a woman doesn’t. “We hired the best person. We would have loved to have hired someone not this white, straight, cis, man but no one else was as good.” Really? No, not really.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">News flash – if casting directors only look for established, well-known transgender actors, they aren’t going to find many. We haven’t given them enough roles to become established and well-known. God love Laverne Cox, she can’t play every role out there.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">We have slammed too many doors in too many faces to expect to be able to reopen them now and have the people we want standing there, waiting. Plus, let’s be honest – movie makers don’t actually want transgender actors (or actors of color, or openly gay, lesbian, or bi actors) in those roles. Because if the people in charge truly wanted those actors, they would find them.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">In 2014, there was a delightful movie called <i>Boy Meets Girl</i>. Its budget was a pittance. And they found a charming, talented, charismatic, transgender young actress to play the role of a charming, talented, charismatic, transgender young woman. Trust and believe, if the producers of <i>Boy Meets Girl</i> can find Michelle Hendley, so can major players in Hollywood.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">It’s also too close to the argument that’s being used to justify all the Oscar nominations being white this year. “Oh, it was such a strong field… We would have loved to have nomination actors of color, but…” I’m sorry, but Idris Elba, Benicio Del Toro, and Samuel L Jackson all had movies out this year. It doesn’t matter what the role is, those men deliver, at the very least, Oscar-nomination worthy performances.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Which brings us back to where we started and #Oscarssowhite – and why we should care.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">It’s the 21st century. White, straight, and cis shouldn’t be the only ones who get to do the talking, or who get the honors.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Watch the Oscars, or don’t. Pay attention to the fashion, or don’t. I’m not calling for a boycott, or anything like that. Just don’t be oblivious, and don’t think that’s it’s not your issue. Because it is. It’s an issue – a problem – that belongs to all of us.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Until next month, Poppets, take care of you.</span><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-57887526077764226492016-01-01T10:43:00.000-08:002016-06-13T10:43:17.726-07:00January 1, 2016<span style="font-size: large;">Poppets, I cannot tell you how many drafts of this month’s article I have written, edited, deleted, and started fresh.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Part of it, no doubt, is because I’ve been writing this column for a while and, eventually, the ideas dry up a bit.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">But part of it is I’m conflicted this year. I want to write about resolving to find love and peace in the face of hatred and chaos. I want to encourage you and myself to rise above. To answer with love. To embrace when possible and disengage when it’s not.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">On the other hand…I want to write about resolving to stand fast. To fight back. To answer every microaggression with power. To refuse to be silenced or cowed, even to ensure a peaceful moment or two.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">To write about letting people make their own choices, go their own way, and allowing grown-ups to fuck up and fail if that’s what it means. All while writing about how we must look out for each other, and guide, advise, and support because we are all put on this earth to take care of each other.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">And so I have started each of those articles – and a couple others, to be completely honest with you – and still haven’t settled on my path.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">For me, in 2016, I think I will resolve to find the balance between those two seemingly disparate concepts: love and fighting. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">I will not stand for being attacked – but I will make sure I am being attacked before I strike back.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">I will be willing to forgive a misspeak or misstep based in true ignorance – but I will not let ignorance be an excuse for cruelty.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">I will embrace teaching moments – but I will not allow the conversation to be derailed onto how I need to explain myself.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">I will not be man-splained, straight-splained, thin-splained, or Christian-splained – but I will be willing to have conversation where my partners get to do more than just listen to my experience, even if it’s not theirs.</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">As a Wiccan witch and a Libra, I believe everything is interconnected and I strive for balance. These resolutions reflect that.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">In the past, I have been vehement about not making resolutions based on the turning of the page of a calendar. This year is different, though. This year, I need to make these resolutions. I need to know what my path will be before the vitriol that is building comes in full force.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">So, Poppets, I encourage you to find your path, as well. Identify what’s important to you before you need it.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Be safe this year. Be well. And fight or love, as suits your needs.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Until next month, Poppets, take care of you – and each other.</span><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-88600356884539473172015-12-01T10:40:00.000-08:002016-06-13T10:41:06.108-07:00December 1, 2015<span style="font-size: large;">As I mentioned last month, Poppets, the holidays started for me back in October with Samhain/Halloween. But they do reach critical mass here in December. Yule. Christmas. Boxing Day. I love them all. Not only do I get (more than) a little Martha Stewart-y in my own gothy way, but I admit it: I get teary.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Commercials kill me. Coffee commercial. Coca-cola commercials. Those damn Budweiser Clydesdales get me every. freaking. time.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">This year, though, this year I’m teary over something else, as well. I’m grateful. I’m grateful to be back home in New England with the person I love in the place I love, surrounded by people I love and who love us back.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">My family is happy, healthy, and well. We all have enough food in the pantry and money to pay the heating bills.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">And I can never, ever, take any of those things for granted again. Which makes this year’s annual article on giving even more poignant for me. Because I am also so desperately grateful for the ability and opportunity to give back.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Now, maybe you don’t give at this time of year. Maybe you can’t, or you just don’t, or whatever. If that’s the case, cool. I have no problem with you making the choices that work for your world.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">But! If you’re looking for ideas, may I suggest:</span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>The Card Family</b>. Visa cards. Gas cards. Starbucks cards. Target cards. McDonald’s cards. Movie theatre cards. No, giving cash isn’t actually all that special, but a bit of a shopping spree when you never get that is special. And the chance to hang out with your friends and actually buy a coffee, or go to the movie, or truly participate can be a blessing to a teenager.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>The Practical Stuff.</b> Warm hats, gloves, and scarves. Boots. Socks. Underwear. Pajamas, slippers, robes. No, none of it is glamorous. You won’t make any child squeal or teenager actually break a smile. But it will matter. A lot.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Toiletries</b>. Toothbrushes. Toothpaste. Brushes. Deodorant. Baby powder. Tampons. Soap and travel soap dishes. These are all still needed during the holidays, when most people’s minds turn toward the fun stuff. Don’t forget the mundane is still important. Try to donate full-sized stuff, though. The travel-sized and hotel-sized stuff isn’t as helpful as we all want it to be.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Christmas-y stuff.</b> Artificial trees. Wrapping paper. Tape and ribbon. Stocking stuffers. Tree ornaments. Batteries! The right organization can get these to the right recipients, and everyone will be happy.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Traditional gifts</b>. Art supplies. Puzzle books with pencils. How-to books. Anything Avengers this year. Ball caps. Fancy toiletries (boys like body wash and cologne, too, remember!). Kits – from gingerbread houses to archeology digs. These are the things that never go out of style. Don’t underestimate their appeal. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Unexpected food</b>. Chocolates. Nuts. Tea bags. Ground coffee. Powdered creamer. Sugar. Granola bars. Cookies. Most food bank donations are healthy – as they should be. But sometimes, especially during the holidays, treats are nice, too. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">And there you have it; some suggestions if you’re looking to give this season. And if you’re not, feel free to pass the list along!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">We’ve gotten through another year, Poppets. I say we’re doing pretty damn well – and God bless us, everyone.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Until next month, Poppets, Merry Whatever you celebrate. Take care of you – and each other.</span><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-6895316111715982702015-11-01T10:38:00.000-08:002016-06-13T10:38:37.155-07:00November 1, 2015<span style="font-size: large;">The holidays and winter are upon us, Poppets. Here in my house, the holidays start with Samhain (Halloween) and run through New Year’s Eve, encompassing Thanksgiving, Yule, and Christmas. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">But winter lasts a lot longer – especially now that we’ve moved back to New England.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">With the cold, celebratory season also comes favorite recipes. Winter, more than any other season, makes me want to fill the house with the scents and aromas of the season – not to mention my tummy with the tastes, too!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">But there’s also that element of thanksgiving. Of closeness that comes with the holiday season. Of being especially grateful for the people I love most. So this year, let me share with you some of my favorite people’s favorite winter recipes. (And no, none of them have Betty’s favorite ingredient in them! I’ll leave those recipes to her…)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Anna’s Gingerbread</b> – This has become staple in David’s and my house. Just don’t use blackstrap molasses, because it makes it taste burnt instead of dark and rich. Yes, I know this to be true. Learn from my mistake, Poppets. Also, breaking this up and combining it with eggnog custard or pudding for a trifle is delicious!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1/2 cup butter or margarine</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1 1/2 cups dark brown sugar</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1 1/4 cups dark molasses</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">2 eggs, beaten</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">2 teaspoons ground ginger</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1 tablespoon ground cinnamon</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">3 tablespoons warm milk</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1 teaspoon baking soda</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1/2 cup raisins (optional, I always leave out)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Melt butter or margarine, sugar, and molasses in saucepan over low heat. Heat until sugar is dissolved and mix well. Remove from heat. Put flour, eggs, ginger, cinnamon, milk, baking soda, and raisins in mixing bowl. Add butter mixture and mix with spoon or electric mixer until well blended. Pour mixture into baking pan and bake in oven until toothpick inserted in center of cake comes out clean (about 45 minutes). To serve, allow to cool to room temperature before cutting into squares.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Dan’s Honey and Walnut Dip</b> – The holidays can mean gatherings of friends, colleagues, coworkers. And we’re all busy – but you can’t show up empty handed. The best part is there is literally no measuring, no way to do it wrong. Like walnuts? Add more. Like honey? Add more. Whatever works for you. This is so fast, you can almost make it in your car in the parking lot before you head into the party if you need to. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1 block cream cheese, softened</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Walnut pieces</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Honey</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Stir the walnuts into the cream cheese. Stir the honey into the walnut-cream cheese combo. Serve with wheat crackers. Seriously, that’s it. But it tastes like you slaved all day.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Lori’s Hot Italian Beef</b> – This is the best version of the classic sandwich I have ever eaten (and I’ve eaten far more of my share of Italian beefs). Plus, it’s so damn easy. Put it on in the morning and walk away. Hot, drippy, delicious dinner a few hours later. What’s not to love?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1 rump roast</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1 jar pepperoncini</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Italian seasoning to taste</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Beef broth to cover</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">6 or so cloves of garlic</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Hoagie rolls</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Put everything but the rolls in a crockpot. Let it cook for at least 6 hours. Check to see if it’s falling apart yet. Cook longer if necessary, but no longer than a total of 8 hours.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Remove beef from crock pot, keeping juice in reserve. Shred the beef and fill rolls. Dip (but don’t soak) the sandwich in reserved juice.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Mac’s Winter Root Soup</b> – Rich, thick, and perfect for a cold night. Makes use of winter root vegetables to their most delicious potential.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Butternut squash</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Sweet potato</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Carrots</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Yukon gold potatoes (unpeeled)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Chicken broth</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Cut all veggies into cubes. Put in large roasting pan with 5-6 whole garlic cloves. Top with olive oil and sprinkle w salt, pepper, cayenne & ginger to taste. Roast uncovered on 425 for 45-60 min, until cooked through. Let it cool.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Once cool, put veggies in a blender in batches with 1/2 cup chicken broth each batch until smooth. Reheat, pour into in bowls, and top with favorite garnish (paprika, chopped nuts, whatever). Serve with crusty bread. Maybe even…</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Sister and Brother’s Easy Bread</b> – In case you didn’t figure it out, this is my sister and brother-in-law’s recipe. And yes, we call each other Sister, and sometimes Brother. Your kitchen will smell like your favorite bakery when you’re done with this.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">3 cups all-purpose flour </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1 tsp salt </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1/4 tsp yeast </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1-1/2 c warm water</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> Put everything in a large bowl. Stir it all around with a fork until it's a gooey mess. Cover it in plastic and let sit 12 - 24 hours.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Flour a board or counter (liberally), and with wet hands, scoop the risen goo out onto the floured surface. Pull the edges in to the center and flip it over so you have a nice taut surface. Flour a towel and cover the dough, let it 'nap' for an hour or so. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Put a covered oven-safe bowl into the oven and preheat to 450 for 30 minutes. Dump dough into hot pot, shake to distribute, cover, bake 27 minutes. Uncover and bake another 11 minutes. (These are random times, but they work!)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Remove and cool in the pot. Bread will just pop out when cool.</span><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Starbuck’s Gingerbread Muffins</b> – Want to pretend that gingerbread is a breakfast food, and not cake? These are what you’re looking for. And the same warning against blackstrap molasses is in effect. Try them toasted or grilled with (plain, not Dan’s) cream cheese.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">1/2 cup white sugar</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1/2 cup softened butter</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1 egg</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1 cup unsulphured (not black strap) molasses</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">2 teaspoons ground cinnamon</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">2 teaspoons ground ginger</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1 teaspoon ground cloves</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1/2 teaspoon salt</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1 cup hot water</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1/2 cup applesauce</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Preheat oven to 350. Grease & flour muffin tins. In a large bowl, cream together the sugar & butter. Beat in the egg, and then mix in the molasses. In a separate bowl, sift together the flour, salt, baking soda, cinnamon, ginger, and cloves. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Blend the dry bowl into the creamed mixture, and add the applesauce. Stir in the hot water. Pour into muffin tins.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Bake 15 minutes.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Susan’s Spiced Tea</b> – This is my mother’s recipe. It is literally the taste and smell of my childhood. Generally, I distain instant drinks. This is the exception. Plus, it will keep FOREVER in an air-tight container.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">2 cups Tang</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">2 scoops instant lemonade (if anybody can still find Wyler's, it's especially good) </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1 cup instant, unsweetened tea (caffeinated or decaf, optional)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1 teaspoon ground clove</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1 heaping teaspoon cinnamon</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Combine all the ingredients. Add 2 T to a mug and pour in hot, not quite boiling, water. Stir well.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>My Dear David’s Apple Cider</b> – Because no article about some of my favorite people in the world would be complete without my dear David. We went apple picking last month and used the freshest apples EVER this time. I want to say it doesn’t make a difference…but it does. Still, the apples you can get a grocery store make it taste damn good.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">12 medium apples </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">2 cinnamon sticks</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">1 star anise</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">2 t ground cloves</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Orange peel for zest</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Sugar </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Cut apples into 2 inch cubes (this can be approximate). Put in a large pot, just covered with water. Throw in cinnamon, star anise, cloves, and zest. Keep everything at a low boil for an hour or two, until it’s all liquid.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Let cool. Strain out solids with cheese cloth.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Add sugar to taste and reheat. Serve with a cinnamon stick (or rum!)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">There you have it, Poppets. From some of my favorite kitchens to yours, for my favorite time of year – and into the snowy beyond.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">May you find reasons to be thankful this month, Poppets, and know I’m thankful for you.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Until next month, take care of you – and each other.</span><br />
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Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-78747578011539662512015-10-01T10:35:00.000-07:002016-06-13T10:35:11.864-07:00October 1, 2015<span style="font-size: large;">Betty indulges me, Poppets. She lets me ramble on about stupid shit, and important shit, and shit that’s really near and dear to my heart. Pretty much whatever I want. Example? Almost every October for the past eight years, I’ve written a variation on the same article: Domestic Violence Awareness Month.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Guess what? I’m continually grateful for Betty, because I’m writing that same article this year.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Why? Because a man in Dallas recently got ten years’ probation – probation, Poppets – for killing his transgender partner. Her name was Janette Tovar, and earlier in the day Jonathan Stewart Kenney slammed her head into concrete during an argument.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Later that evening, he called 911 when she became nonresponsive. But the cause of death was blunt force trauma. In other words, his slamming her head into cement. During an argument. Which is the very definition of physical domestic violence, Poppets.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">But it should be cut and dried, right? They fought. He hurt her, badly. She died. He even admitted to it. This is domestic violence to the Nth degree. This is domestic violence murder.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">But he got ten years’ probation and a $2500 fine.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Tell me again how just and fair the system is to victims of domestic violence. Then tell me again how just and fair it is to the LGBTQ community.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Tell me how a fight – whatever the fight was about – justifies slamming a woman’s head into concrete so hard that it kills her. Tell me again how victims of domestic violence ask for it.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Finally, tell me how domestic violence doesn’t exist in the LGBTQ community. Tell me how it’s a fair fight if it takes place amongst ourselves.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Luckily, I’m not the only one passionate about this. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">So are the people at the Northwest Network, an agency specifically for LGBTQ survivors of abuse. They’re based out of Seattle, and you can reach them here (206) 568-7777 during normal business hours, or find out more information here: http://nwnetwork.org.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">So are the people at the Skagit County Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Services. They are a full-service resource center for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault, and are openly LGBTQ friendly. You can reach them here (888) 336-9591 24-hours a day, or find out more information here: http://www.skagitdvsas.org.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">So are you – I hope. Because if you’re aware of it or not, someone you know, someone you love, is or has been a victim of domestic violence. People don’t just get in touch with those organizations to ask for help. You can call them and ask how to help, too. I hope you will.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Because it’s real. It’s happening – to us. Among us. By us.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Her name was Janette Tovar, and he got ten years’ probation.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Until next month, Poppets, take care of you – and each other.</span><br />
<br />
(Source: http://crimeblog.dallasnews.com/2015/09/dallas-man-receives-10-years-probation-for-death-of-transgender-woman.html/<br />
http://www.advocate.com/crime/2015/9/16/shocker-texas-man-confesses-killing-trans-woman-only-gets-probation<br />
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/09/16/texas-man-gets-probation-for-killing-his-trans-girlfriend.html)<br />
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Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-34041143798054359642015-09-01T10:33:00.000-07:002016-06-13T10:33:41.690-07:00September 1, 2015<span style="font-size: large;">LGBTQ, Poppets. That’s what we call ourselves. Sometimes, we add A and I in there. But it’s been LGBT(Q) almost from the beginning. Some of us even remember when it was GLBT. Whatever order you put those letters in, though, the point is that bisexual has been right there, on equal footing, from the beginning.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">So – why do we ignore them? Invalidate them? Erase them?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Think I’m wrong? How often have you heard it said, when a woman who last dated a man starts dating a woman “oh, so she’s a lesbian now?” Or run into the concept that if a man likes sex with men, he’s gay, period, and should really just admit it. Never mind how often you’ve heard it; how often have you thought it yourself?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Bisexuals are often banned from safe spaces if they are in an opposite-gender relationship. They aren’t “gay enough” or they’re traitors.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Society is slowly, ever so slowly, beginning to understand that gender is fluid. Hell, the term “genderfluid” is a thing now. And yet we, even amongst ourselves, want to continue to insist that bisexuals aren’t real. That you can be heterosexual or homosexual and nothing in between.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">There is so much more space on the sexuality spectrum than the two poles, Poppets!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">The new generation is getting it. They’re better at it than we are, I think. They at least recognize, if not 100% accept yet, pansexual (which before anyone asks, no, isn’t just a new age term for bisexual) and several variations of asexual. They call out bisexual erasure far better and more thoroughly than my generation – or the generation after mine – have so far.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">But that doesn’t mean we’re hopeless, the generation before, with, and after me. We can learn new tricks, even as old dogs. Stop erasing the B from our alphabet. Stop belittling them as cheaters, as fake, as slumming with the queers. And yes, those are all things I have heard cast at my bisexual friends and family. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Society is evolving, expanding. There are more designations for sexuality and gender than ever before, as we recognize just how gloriously messy the whole male-female-sex thing is. There are even orientations and expressions that don’t have names or labels yet, which makes the Q more important than ever.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">In light of this, we’re going to pretend the B doesn’t really exist? Isn’t real? The B that’s been there right along with the L, the G, and T from the beginning – we’re going to keep erasing them?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">As I say so often, we’re better than that, Poppets. So let’s be better than that. Yes, you can come out as gay or lesbian after being in a heterosexual relationship. You can even come out after having had children and family. And – and you can also be bisexual. And in this relationship, with this person. Their gender doesn’t change your orientation.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">It’s time we all remembered that.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Until next month, Poppets, take care of you – and each other.</span><br />
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Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-14042456169003005252015-08-01T10:32:00.000-07:002016-06-13T10:32:16.492-07:00August 1, 2015<span style="font-size: large;">I don’t often do reviews here, Poppets, in spite of Betty bringing me on to keep you abreast of what’s happening on the east coast (wow, that didn’t go as planned, did it?). But sometimes, a review works. Like this month.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">We are big Netflix fans out here. David and I can binge with the best of them. To the point that we will rarely even get involved with a show that has fewer than two seasons, because why get invested? However two of Netflix’s original series caught our eye – <i>Grace and Frankie</i> and <i>Sense8 </i>- and we thought we’d check them out. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Talk about a juxtaposition.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Grace and Frankie</i> is about two hetero couples in their 60s or early 70s (the actors are Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda, Sam Waterston, and Martin Sheen, so their age). The men have been business partners and best friends for decades. The women tolerate each other for their husbands. The four of them are meeting for dinner when the men drop the bombshell that they are in love, that they have been a couple for at least 20 years, and now that they can get married, they want to do so. The husbands are leaving the wives for each other.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Now, I know that this is a scenario that plays itself out in real life, so I don’t object to the subject. But as the episode went on, it became obvious that the men were going to be The Bad Guys and the women were going to be The Ones We Root For.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">The focus was entirely on the women’s pain. The men felt guilty – but not by much. The women were being painted as having everything ripped from them, while the men were going to ride off into the sunset together.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Except that it isn’t that easy. It’s never that easy. As someone who was the one to ask for the divorce (previously, David and I are still deliriously happy in our little bubble), there is no easy riding off into the sunset without a care in the world. As the man who had to tell his wife he was gay (previously, I knew from the beginning), the pain David experienced was no small thing. Between the two of us, we were these two characters in our previous marriages – and it was nowhere close to as easy as Grace and Frankie would have you believe.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Now, full disclosure, the show may get better. I couldn’t get through the first episode. It was too one-sided, and too…wrong. Too false and too painful in its refusal to see both sides of the story, to ready to paint the men as the bad guys. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Then there was <i>Sense8</i>. Interestingly enough, I’d heard really good things about Grace and Frankie and so-so things about <i>Sense8</i>, so I wasn’t as excited about this one.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Was I ever wrong. The plot is a bit convoluted, and may not read well, but there are eight people who are connected telepathically. Why? Who are they? What’s going on? No one knows, not even them. But they can talk and visit and jump into each other’s bodies. It’s a cool set up if you like that kind of thing (which I do).</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">But what makes it worth writing about here is the fact that there are a transgender woman who is part of a lesbian couple and a closeted but partnered gay man as some of the main characters. Needless to say, their lives aren’t easy. They’re a transgender lesbian, a closeted gay man, and their respective partners for heaven’s sake – those are not easy people to be, no matter what social media would want you to believe.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">And yet…in this science fiction world, they are treated more realistically than the men in the “realistic” <i>Grace and Frankie</i>. They are allowed to be whole characters. And yes, they screw up and they hurt people and they make mistakes. But they are not cookie cutter Bad Guys. They are well-rounded, nuanced characters that we feel for and root for and come to care about. They are the kind of representation that matters.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">So, I highly recommend <i>Sense8</i>. It makes for a great binge night or two. As for <i>Grace and Frankie</i> – if you choose to watch it, do so knowing the first episode is tough. If you make it through more, I’d love to know what you think. As for me, I think I’ll stick to well-developed characters and leave the stock bad guys to someone else.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Until next month, Poppets, take care of you – and each other.</span><br />
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Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-36999687750387364182015-07-01T10:29:00.000-07:002016-06-13T10:29:51.843-07:00July 1, 2015<span style="font-size: large;">I’m going to do it, Poppets. I’m going to talk about Caitlyn Jenner. I swore I wasn’t – but I am.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">First and foremost, good for you, Caitlyn! Well done and congratulations. To finally live as one’s true, authentic self is a gift so many people are never able to achieve.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I am thrilled, almost beyond words, for her.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">I, also, have two random thoughts in my head about some of the responses I’ve heard to Caitlyn’s journey:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">1.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Since we embrace Caitlyn, society will embrace all transgender women and men. I love this idea. I love this ideal. And many, many people have indeed embraced Caitlyn (and Laverne, and Janet, and Chaz…) but many more have not. Think the LGBTQ community is above it? Think again. I was sitting with a man I know – who happens to be gay – and a friend of his – who happens to be a lesbian – and Caitlyn came up in conversation. He shuddered as he explained that he “doesn’t get it…(he) just doesn’t get it.” She, on the other hand, had this to say: “Oh, I get it. It’s just disgusting.” That’s the hate within our own community, Poppets. Don’t dare judge someone for not coming out, for not transitioning, when we can’t even support them.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">2.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>If we embrace Caitlyn, society will embrace transgender women and men, even those who don’t pass. I love this idea. This ideal. Caitlyn is a naturally attractive person. That was part of the original allure back in the 70s during the Olympics. That was damn fine photogenic athlete. Trust and believe, Wheaties wouldn’t have put an ugly person on their boxes. Plus, Caitlyn has money, which means she can afford surgeries that help this specific aspect of her transition move forward even more smoothly. And let’s be completely honest – she’s gorgeous. The painful truth, though, is that society doesn’t embrace any women who aren’t deemed beautiful. Just as Wheaties wouldn’t have put an unattractive man on their boxes, Vogue would not have put an unattractive woman on their cover, no matter the reason. Do not ~ not, not, not ~ dare to judge someone who doesn’t pass, who considers themselves unattractive as their true gender, who chooses not to transition. Yes, we as a society are mean to all unattractive women. When we’re willing to throw “you look like a man” at cis-gendered women as an insult, we don’t get to then ask our trans-sisters to take the heat.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">On the one hand, society is embracing beautiful, articulate, passing transgender men and women. I’m not sure this has ever happened before. On the other hand, there have already been nine transgender women murdered in 2015 alone. We all know Caitlyn’s name (and Laverne, and Janet, and Chaz), but how many of us know theirs*?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">It is a better time to be transgendered than ever before. I, of all people, will never refute that. But “better” still doesn’t mean “good” or “safe.” </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">And those are my random thoughts.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Until next month, Poppets, take care of you – and each other.</span><br />
<br />
*London Kiki Chanel (Philadelphia), Kristina Gomez Reinwald (Miami), Penny Proud (New Orleans), Taja DeJesus (San Francisco), Yazmin Vash Payne (Los Angeles), Ty Underwood (North Tyler, Texas), Lamia Beard (Norfolk, Virginia), and Mercedes Williamson (George County, Mississippi)<br />
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Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-53101837088039147492015-06-01T10:28:00.000-07:002016-06-13T10:30:11.806-07:00June 1, 2016<span style="font-size: large;">I’ve been reading suicide notes of young LGBTQ people recently. Far too many of them. So here’s my open letter to any young person considering suicide.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">My darling Young Poppets, please, live. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Live to see your late 20s.</b> When you finally, sort of, kind of start to figure things out. See, I’m not supposed to tell you this, but the truth is that there is nothing more horrible than your teens and early 20s. Even if you have the love and support of your family, friends and community, those years are still awful. If you don’t have that support, if you feel isolated, alone, judged – if you have been kicked out or disowned – if you are having to hide and hate who you are – it’s even worse.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">But somewhere around your late 20s, things start to make a little more sense. You start really being able to make your own decisions. You start learning from your mistakes – including recognizing that not every mistake was so bad after all. You start realizing that maybe, just maybe, you have some self-worth – because of, or even in spite of, the people around you.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Live to see your mid-30s.</b> When your confidence starts to set in. Because in your mid-30s, your shoulders go a little further back. You come to understand whose opinions matter – and whose really don’t. It’s easier to care about what’s important, and say fuck it to the things, people, and attitudes that aren’t.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">All those things that you feel like you should know, understand, be able to do right now, they start to become reality somewhere in your mid-30s. You look around one day and it hits you: you’re the grown up you’ve been waiting to be. If things are good, you’ve created that. If things aren’t good, you’re more capable of taking charge and changing that than ever before.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Live to see your 40s.</b> When you finally realize just how little you know – and just how okay that really is. At some point in your 40s, it will dawn on you that everyone is making it up as they go along. That no one has it as together as you think they do. That you aren’t alone – or a freak – or missing some memo that the rest of us got.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">It’s easier to finally stop fighting, stop raging, in your 40s. Self-loathing can give way to self-acceptance – true self-acceptance – and with it, peace. What is worth fighting for becomes clear, and your motivation gets a laser target. But what isn’t worth your time and energy becomes clear, too, and shrugging it off and letting go becomes easier in a way you never, ever expected.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Young Poppets, I know – I know – that you feel a lot of “never” and “always” right now:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>It will never get better than this.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I will always be tormented. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>If I don’t transition now, I will never be able to…will never look right…will always feel this wrong, ugly way. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I will never be truly loved for who I truly am.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">But never and always are lies. I’m not going to blow smoke up your ass and say it’s easy. Or that it just gets better miraculously. Life is hard work, Young Poppets. For everyone – but especially for those of us who live outside of mainstream privilege. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">And yet - never and always are still lies. It can get better. You do have time. You will be able to make different choices, different decisions, take different paths. You will get to live your own life, on your own terms.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">But you must live in order to make those choices, those decisions, to find your path. To live your life.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">So, please, Young Poppets, live. Live into your 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond. Live to feel the difference in your life. Live to create the difference in your corner of the world. Because you are cherished. You are loved. You have value. And life is longer than it feels right now – in all the best ways.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">And to my fellow Poppets of a Certain Age, be kind to the next generation. Reach out. Love. Mentor. Model. You never know when you might be the grownup who makes the difference.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Until next month, Poppets, take care of you – and each other.</span><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-39922330188236322015-05-01T10:27:00.000-07:002016-06-13T10:34:12.638-07:00May 1, 2015<span style="font-size: large;">I know we just talked about the Religious Freedom Restoration Acts a couple months ago, Poppets, but there’s still more to say. So let’s say it, okay? Okay! Because back in the mid-90s, the federal RFRA was passed and it was great. I know; that’s the last thing you expected to hear, isn’t it? But the federal law really is great.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">The federal law prevents women from being forced to take off their hijabs for their driver’s license picture. It allows Native Americans to use otherwise illegal drugs in religious ceremonies. And it allows Jewish teenagers to keep their heads covered during holy season in high schools where other boys aren’t allowed to wear hats. This is all good stuff.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Then just this year, Indiana passed its RFRA, and the country exploded. Because Indiana’s RFRA isn’t the same as the federal one. And while the “fix” the governor signed within a few days helps – it’s certainly not the widesweeping “Jim Crow laws of homosexuality” Fox news was talking about when we last visited the topic – the RFRA in place is still dangerous. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">See, while a business or landlord* can no longer use the RFRA as a defense against discrimination, a pharmacist can still refuse a transitioning person hormones, or to fill someone’s AIDS medication prescription. Also? Good Christians can still bully children and teenagers for being LGBTQ. Or for having LGBTQ parents. Or, you know, looking like they might. Because why let facts get in the way of religion.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Here’s the thing, though – Indiana was the first state to create a nationwide uproar, but several other states have RFRA on their books. And still others have what are known as “conscience clauses.” And those can be as scary as any warped RFRA.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Conscience clauses allow healthcare providers, hospitals, and even pharmacists to refuse to provide services or fill prescriptions based on moral, ethical, or religious grounds. Generally, this is becoming an issue around birth control and emergency contraception, but don’t be lulled into a false sense of security.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Transitional hormones. AIDS medications. IVF procedures for lesbian couples. All of those can be denied because the doctor or pharmacist doesn’t think we should have them because he or she doesn’t believe we’re real human beings and equal to them. For “moral, ethical, or religious reasons” of course.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">6 states** – Colorado, Florida, Illinois, Maine, Tennessee, and New Jersey – all have sweeping conscious clauses on their books. (Note, 6 others have conscious clauses that only deal with contraceptives.) And while, technically, Indiana doesn’t have a conscience clause on its books, thanks to the RFRA and the holey “fix”, it does for all intents and purposes.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">And this is why I came back here this month. Because while it’s not all about marriage equality, Poppets, it’s also not all about Indiana. Or RFRA. It’s so much bigger than any one of those things.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">We must stay aware. We must keep fighting. Not for wedding registries and tiered cakes, but for basic human rights and protections. I don’t need anyone to change their religion for us. I just need them to not hurt us while they practice it, or make us practice it, too. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Until next month, Poppets, take care of you – and each other.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
*Source Link: http://www.advocate.com/politics/2015/04/02/gov-mike-pence-signs-fix-religious-freedom-restoration-act?page=full<br />
** Source link: http://www.ncsl.org/research/health/pharmacist-conscience-clauses-laws-and-information.aspx<br />
<br />Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-49812357660319199552015-04-01T10:26:00.000-07:002016-06-13T10:26:37.156-07:00April 1, 2015<span style="font-size: large;">In the past, Poppets, I have been…judgy, shall we say…about Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr (et al) activism. I’ve made the case that changing one’s avatar or sharing something with “THIS!” over it doesn’t do a whole lot. And no, I’m not about to back down from that. I still don’t think it necessarily, automatically does much except make the individual feel better about themselves. However! I think it can do something.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">There’s a movement right now to put on your social media site that you are willing to share a bathroom with a transgendered person. Whichever site you use, the suggestion is that you write it up there in plain English: I’m willing to share a bathroom with a transgendered person. No having to know what the code is, what the red t-shirt, or double giraffe picture, or cartoon character means. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">***</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">In Florida, there’s a bill in committee that would require people to use the bathroom of their birth-assigned gender. No matter how they look. How they’re dressed. How they live their daily lives. None of that matters. What matters is what gender they were assigned at birth.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">An exception has been made for people who have a government issued i.d. recognizing their true gender. Except that getting an i.d. changed is a complicated, expensive, and long legal process. Many transgendered people live their lives as their true selves, but are blocked from getting legal papers declaring their gender. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">And let’s be honest – being asked for a photo i.d. before going to the bathroom would be a demeaning, insulting experience. Just because someone doesn’t fit some societal standard of female or male shouldn’t mean they have to prove themselves in any way. It may be different for you, but I frequently go out without an i.d….or I’ll leave my bag at the table with David…or in the movie theatre with my friends...and just run to the restroom quickly. As someone who lives her life as the gender assigned at birth, this is never an issue. But I cannot imagine how horrible it would be like to just want to wash my hands – or really need to pee – and be stopped at the door because I didn’t look right and couldn’t present an i.d. assuring some random stranger I am who I say I am.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Yet that is exactly what Florida is trying to do.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">***</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Which brings us back to social media activism and why this case is different. It’s different for 2 important reasons. First, there’s no code. I admit, I am not the world’s most tuned in person – but I’m not the most oblivious either. As such, I know I’m not the only somewhat astute person who has looked at a sea of changed avatars and wondered what the hell was going on, and what I had missed. This isn’t about a code. This isn’t about being in the know. This is about saying flat out I support this. You are safe with me. I want this in my school, office, church, synagogue, hospital, club, mall, and town.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">And that leads us into the second reason this matters – we tend to be online friends with supervisors, worship leaders, and gym trainers. The people who can make these kinds of decisions. Who can create a safe space for transgendered men and women – or deny it. So the more of us who say, flat out, we want this! the more the people in charge will hear. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Don’t let silence speak for you, Poppets. In this instance, or ever. Dignity matters. Pride matters. Acceptance matters. This matters.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Until next month, Poppets, take care of you – and each other.</span><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-74146790345258356892015-03-01T10:25:00.000-08:002016-06-13T10:25:41.297-07:00March 1, 2015<span style="font-size: large;">Have you heard of Religious Freedom Restoration Acts, Poppets? In a nutshell, they are the epitome of why the push for marriage equality scares me. Because even as marriage equality is spreading like wildfire, the Religious Freedom Restoration Acts are gaining momentum, as well.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Religious Freedom Restoration Acts, or RFRAs, give individuals and businesses the right to discriminate against the LGBTQ community for religious reasons. And while having a baker or florist refuse to participate in your wedding because you and your spouse are the same gender really fucking sucks and I won’t deny that, we’re talking about so much more than that.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Want to sit by your spouse’s hospital bedside? Not if the hospital administration doesn’t recognize your marriage, even if the state does. Would you like to keep your apartment after your teenager comes out? Better hope your landlord doesn’t disapprove on religious grounds, because there are no housing protections under RFRAs. Should your daughter’s teacher protect her from bullies in the classroom? Doesn’t have to if she agrees with the bullies. Does your state offer health insurance to same-sex partners? Not necessarily, if your company has religious objections.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">These laws trump everything else, Poppets. They are the way out. There are no constraints on them. They are the concession to discrimination. They are bills being written by people who do not understand that not being allowed to discriminate and oppress does not equal discrimination and oppression. And they are bills being passed, and signed into law.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Even Fox News has referred to these laws as “homosexual Jim Crow laws” and “dangerous precedent.” Do you realize how wrong the RFRAs have to be in order for Fox News to be concerned about the sweeping damage they could do to us?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">And yet my Facebook feed is overflowing with excitement over marriage equality. Every new state that passes it gets the bells and whistles and parades. I first heard about Arkansas passing its RFRA from Buzzfeed. Yep. The comic-funny-timewasting site. But plenty of news stations (and social media sites, and political rallies) are talking about the Supreme Court taking up marriage equality.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">So I sigh. I sigh deeply. And I remember that I have raged about this so many times and still it continues. I want to stop raging, Poppets. I do. I want to be excited about wedding cakes and flower arrangements. I want to trust that, once marriage equality is a reality, we will move on to overturning RFRAs. And employment protection. And housing protection. And the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I want to believe that – and so I will keep forcing myself to believe it until I am proven wrong. Because I have to believe our lives matter more than wedding cakes.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Until next month, Poppets, take care of you – and each other.</span><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-5098321210706373632015-02-01T10:23:00.000-08:002016-06-13T10:24:14.629-07:00February 2015<span style="font-size: large;">Oh, Poppets, I have written ad nauseam about my fears that LGBTQ activists will rest once marriage equality is passed. You know my feelings on it. I know my feelings on it. So, no. I am not going to write about the Supreme Court taking up the issue. Do I hope it passes? Yes. Do I think it will? Yes. Am I afraid of what will happen after it does? Oh hell yes. There. Issue addressed.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Moving on to…February. Valentine’s Day. Are you sick of it yet? After all, it rolled into stores somewhere about December 27th. I have to be honest, though; I’m not. I love Valentine’s Day. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">But Valentine’s Day tends to be difficult in our community. We spend so much time hearing about how unloveable we are, how wrong, and sick, and unhealthy we are. I’m thrilled to say that’s getting better, but let’s be honest – if we weren’t still hearing those things, I would be able to be excited about SCOTUS taking up marriage equality. It’s just too easy to believe on some level when people say hateful, horrible things.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">So this year, instead of focusing only on our partners – or lack thereof, depending on your specific situation – I’m suggesting we focus on ourselves. Focus on what makes us loveable. Unique. Beautiful. Special. Worthy.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Stay away from superficial adjectives, too. Trust me, you won’t always be young, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and thin gets harder the older you get. Instead, focus on longer lasting things. Humor. Kindness. Fashion sense, even. Whatever makes you unique.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">We are all our worst enemies. Instead of looking in the mirror and seeing what you always see, try to see yourself through someone else’s eyes. And not the haters we were talking about a couple paragraphs ago. Your friends. Your partner. The people who love you.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">We are so good to the people we love. That’s the thing about love. It allows us to see our friends and family honestly (hopefully) but kindly, too. So why can’t we extend that same kindness and generosity to ourselves?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Here’s an exercise for you: Every time this month you realize you are thinking about yourself in a way you wouldn’t let anyone talk about a friend, stop. Set yourself straight (so to speak) the same way you would defend a friend.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Because if someone talked trash about your friend, you’d be the first person to say shut the fuck up. To remind them how your friend is the funniest, most genuine, most caring, most intelligent, most…whatever…you’ve ever known. So, when you hear yourself talking that way – stop. Remind yourself that you are the funniest, most genuine, most caring, most intelligent, most whatever you’ve ever known.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Do this every time this month. No trash talk. No self-doubt. Nothing but love. See what happens. I bet you like it, Poppets, I really do. And yes, be sure to buy yourself chocolates and flowers, too – even if someone else is buying them for you, as well. You’re worth it, after all.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Until next month, Poppets, take care of you – and each other.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Je Suis, Charlie.</span><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2333302583960554531.post-8778573480453632612015-01-01T00:33:00.000-08:002015-01-01T00:33:00.147-08:00January 1, 2015<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Happy New Year, Poppets! 2015. Here’s hoping your holiday
season was both peaceful and joyous, and that the new year brings you the best
of what you’re wishing for.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Over the years, I have earned a reputation – and rightfully
so – for being notoriously anti New Year Resolution. I simply see no point in
setting up artificial, and often unreasonable, expectations based on aspects of
ourselves that we don’t like simply because we turned a new page in a calendar.
It certainly doesn’t seem like healthy, or happy way, to go into a new year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">If, however, you are determined to make New Year’s
Resolutions, may I suggest these:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Get Healthy. This is not an admonition to quit smoking, lose
weight, or eat more vegetables. If you want to do those things, great. Do them.
But not because of a resolution. Instead, just think long-term, yet low
maintenance. Women, do breast self-exams. Men, perform testicular self-exams.
If you are “of a certain age” get mammograms and prostate exams. At some point
this year, sit down with a doctor and get a physical. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Stay Focused. While anger may be a powerful motivator, it’s
also a good way to become miserable, burned out, and, well, angry. The world is
angry enough. Instead of being angry (although there is time for anger, and I
will never say otherwise), concentrate on staying focused. The issue that makes
you angry – police brutality, open season on black men, continued threats
against members of the LGBTQ community, women’s issues, legal inequality,
whatever it is – stayed focused on it. As the news cycle moves on, stay
involved. As people start discussing other things on social media, keep
bringing it up. Refuse to back down, to become complacent, to sweep it under
the rug. You may lose some Tumblr or Reddit followers, but you’ll learn who
your <i>real</i> friends are.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Spread Peace. There <i>is</i>
plenty of anger in the world. And there are times when it’s appropriate. But
remember when it isn’t, as well. There is no need to snap at the homeless. Or
yell at the person behind the register. Or be rude to your neighbor in the
elevator. More and more, it seems like we as a society are moving to the
extremes: doormats or aggressive assholes. There’s a huge middle ground between
those 2 poles. Make a concerted effort to live in that middle ground. No one is
perfect, but the effort itself will inherently make your life a more peaceful
place, for you and those you encounter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Buy the Leather Jacket. A friend of mine was telling me a
story about a young woman who wanted to be the kind of girl who wore a leather
jacket – so the young woman went and bought one, because then she’d be the kind
of girl who wore one. Whatever your “leather jacket” is, don’t wait for it. If
you want to be the kind of person who adopts rescue cats, or drinks champagne,
or reads The New Yorker, or eats off of china plates, or yes, wears leather
jackets – don’t wait for whatever magical event will turn you into “that kind
of a person.” You are that person. Right now. Without having to fix or change
yourself in any way. The only thing missing the jacket. So go buy the jacket!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">2015 is upon us, Poppets. And with every year before it, it
will be exactly the kind of year we make it. So let’s make it a good one. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Until next month, Poppets, take care of you – and each
other.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Bridget_Herselfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09356526146977390409noreply@blogger.com0