March 2012

I love it when the articles write themselves, Poppets, I truly do. And given what I wrote about last month, I bet you already know what I’m writing about this month. Yep, same-sex marriage is now the law in our great state of Washington. Thank you, state legislature and Governor Gregoire!

There are others we need to thank as well, though, specifically the Washington United for Marriage Business Coalition. When I first heard about them, my plan was to spell out everyone involved. The really great news, though, is that it is literally a three-page list. While Betty is amazingly patient with me, I’m not going to turn in a three-page list of businesses and call it an article.

What I will tell you is the range of businesses involved is impressive. Massive, multinational corporations, such as Microsoft, Vulcan, Nike, and Starbucks are on board. Movers and shakers of the state, like the Elliott Bay Book Company, the Seattle Restaurant Alliance, and Spokane Wireless have signed up. Independent retailers and small restaurants and cafes, and even law firms…The list goes on and it’s inspiring.

Surely, you know what I want you to do now, don’t you? I want you to go to www.washingtonunitedformarriage.org, check out the list, and decide which ones you can support. Whatever your other politics are, somewhere in that three-page list is at least one company you can patronize. Because it isn’t easy or fiscally safe for businesses to support us – and they did.

Which also means, yep, it’s time to start shopping at JC Penney. What does JC Penney have to do with same-sex marriage? Not a damn thing as far as I know, but same-sex marriage isn’t and shouldn’t be the only issue within our community that we care about. You’ve heard the kerfuffle over Penney’s choosing Ellen as their spokesperson. I won’t rehash it here. Think about it, though:

A major department store is getting grief for having a kind, polite, caring, funny, professional as a spokesperson, just because she’s a lesbian. How does this even make sense?

Yes, JC Penney is standing by Ellen – and us – by keeping her on. So, let’s say thank you. Assure them they made the right decision. Even if you don’t care for their clothing styles, everybody needs socks and underwear eventually.

Vote with your pocketbooks, Poppets. For a single issue and for the larger one of equality. As I’ve said before, stand with those who stand with us.

Until next month, Poppets, take care of you.

February 2012

I’ll let you in on a secret, Poppets: I am a lobster. What does that mean? It means I am hard and crusty on the outside and total mush on the inside. Which also means I’m a sucker for romance, and yes, embarrassingly, Valentine’s Day. I know the arguments. It’s a corporate holiday; it’s all about money; Hallmark and DeBeers have us by the short hairs. Whatever. I love it. When I was single, I would buy myself chocolates and take long, candle lit bubble baths. Now that I’m married, we celebrate very similarly, only I’m no longer alone in that bath. Yep, romance is wonderful. Love is wonderful. Valentine’s Day is wonderful. And … what if we could make it more than just a money-maker for Whitmans chocolates? There’s a national movement trying to do just that.

Marriage Equality USA, GetEqual.org, and California Faith for Equality have joined together to encourage a national day of awareness, Request Marriage (www.requestmarriage.com), on February 14, 2012. Marriage is the ultimate representation of romance, so what better way to celebrate romance than with marriage? On Valentine’s Day this year, those of us who are not married are being urged to apply for marriage licenses. Yes, even those of us in Washington state who have domestic partnership rights.

 Now, there are some very important rules, should you and your partner choose to participate. First and foremost, be polite. This is not an aggressive or antagonistic event. The people behind the counter are simply doing their jobs. They do not make the laws. They are not the enemy. Many of them fully support the rights of LGBTQ peoples. Do not harass them for doing their jobs.

Second, but equally important, do not block straight couples who are successful at obtaining marriage licenses. The whole movement is about gaining that very right, not about taking it away from anyone else. If you engage them at all, do so in order to celebrate with them on their happy day.

Finally, maintain your own quiet dignity. This is not about making a scene. This is about making a statement. Those are two very different things. Do not give them any reason to disregard you as crazy, or belligerent, or just one of “those” people.

If you are a straight couple, you can show your support, as well. The website recommends going to the County Auditor’s office, request a marriage license, and then handing it back, explaining that it isn’t fair that LGBTQ couples cannot marry and so you won’t be filing today. Another option is to simply go down and be there. Witness and stand in support. Hell, you don’t even have to be part of a couple to do that much.

I know that Washington is moving toward making same-gender marriage legal, and that makes me proud. Governor Gregoire has announced that she will throw the weight of her office behind passing the law. Good. She should. But that doesn’t mean we should take anything for granted. Make the statement that marriage equality is vital to wider goal of overarching equality. Make the statement locally, so that it can resonate regionally and nationally.

Marriage licenses can be obtained at the Whatcom County Auditor, 311 Grand Avenue, Suite 103, Bellingham, WA 98225. Make me proud, Poppets. I know you will.

Until next month, take care of you.

           

           

January 2012

As you know, Poppets, I frequently write my way down the coast, hitting Seattle, Portland, and, at least once, California. I’ve even headed all the way south to Mexico and east to tell you about events happening in New England. For some reason, though, I’ve never gone just east to Spokane. It wasn’t intentional; it just…didn’t happen. Too far, too under the radar. Who knows?

Then Dempsey’s, that Spokane institution, closed back in November and I’d never once reminded you about their drinks, their music, or their drag shows. It was a good, if startling, reminder that even our institutions can go under if we’re not vigilant. Admittedly, I don’t know why Dempsey’s closed. Reports are inconsistent and I’m not going to speculate. What I do know is it’s gone.

Not wanting to make that same mistake again, I’m using this month to tell you about Hollyrock, a new club in Spokane Valley. Is it further than Seattle or Portland? Sure. But it’s a damn site closer than California, Mexico or Boston, so why not, right? Plus, the place sounds really great.

Part gathering place, part community outreach, Hollyrock is more concerned with being a safe place for everyone, than making its owner wealthy. From 4:00 pm, when it opens, until 9:00 pm, teens 16 and older are allowed – and encouraged - to come, hang out, have a place to get away from the daily grind, and just be. This would be enough to make me love the place, if it was all Hollyrock offered (you know my soft spot for teenagers, Poppets), but it’s not.

The owner, Robin Tuttle, is aiming for a totally inclusive environment, rather than just being another gay club. LGBTQs, their allies, and straight folks are all equally welcomed, equally wanted. The food is a step or three above typical bar fare, making it an actual restaurant, instead of just a place to grab something greasy to help balance the booze. Many of the drag performers who kept Dempsey’s hopping have made the move to Hollyrock, as well, so you know the quality of talent is there.

It’s a new venture, during a time when new ventures are risky. And, sure, it’s a little out of the way, but what better way to shake off the post-holiday blahs than a weekend away, supporting an exciting new venture? I can’t think of much. So hang with Betty at Rumors on Wednesday, and then make a run to Spokane and check out Hollyrock on the weekend. They’re open seven days a week, 4 pm-2 am, at 20 N. Raymond, Spokane Valley, WA 99206. For more information, give them a call: 509-413-2793.

It’s a new year, Poppets. Let’s have an adventure or two, starting in Spokane. Until next month, take care of you.

December 2011

You know one of the (admittedly, many) things that makes me crazy, Poppets? Not getting closure. It’s right up there with people who go the speed limit in the passing lane and even above people who put spoilers in comments without giving fair warning. Yep, getting closure is important to me. So, imagine my relief when Shawn Harris agreed to a follow-up interview with me. To remind you, Shawn is the playwright behind Tulpa or Anne&Me that I spoke with back in May. BUT! We spoke before the show went up at the Planet Connections Theatre Festivity. Which meant, I really needed to know how it went and what happens next. Luckily, she was willing to fill me in…

Bridget Adams (BA): The very first question I have to ask is: How did last summer’s
performances go?

Shawn Harris (SH): Planet Connections went very well! We had great performances, and the show got a couple of nominations for awards. Attendance was solid considering when we had to perform. The thing about festivals is that you don't get your choice of performance slots, so you make the best of what's available. Our last 2 shows nearly sold out, though! I'm very happy about how things turned out.

But more than that, people were interested and engaged with what they saw, so in that regard it was a phenomenal success.

BA:  At the time, I said I believed the goal to be to create an honest dialogue around race and racism and asked if you thought Tulpa was succeeding. You said you thought it was too soon to say. How about now?

SH: Right. Now that I've been able to observe people's reactions to the play, I think it does do that.

One of the great things about theatre is that it's a lot like a thrill ride. You can go along with the action without putting yourself at risk. For many of us, we don't know how we'd handle the situations raised in Tulpa until we suddenly find ourselves face-to-face with
them. While we can learn from these experiences, the cost of that is often a lot of pain, both inflicted and endured. It's a lot like talking about "a friend of mine" who has a problem. Only in this case they're live human beings doing human things.

At the same time, the distance allows people to examine these events more closely to get a better understanding of how they work. This is in no small part due to the facilitation of the Anti-Racist Alliance's women of color group (via the People's Institute for Survival and Beyond), who were able to combine a personal approach with anti-racist
analysis.

BA: Is an honest dialogue about race still something you want to accomplish with Tulpa?

SH: Yes. The purpose of that goal has changed, though. One of the reasons why the post-performance discussion was so valuable was that it showed Tulpa's potential to not only initiate these dialogues but to facilitate and sustain them. Looking at how much substance audience members brought to these discussions showed me that there was a lot more that Tulpa could do. Honest dialogue is no longer an end in itself, but a required component of a larger mission. We often say that dialogue is important to improve understanding, but I soon realize that my deeper wish is for people to act on that understanding.

Because of this, one of the long-term goals that has emerged is a practical way to combine making theatre with social justice and community organizing. Making theatre and community organizing have a lot in common. In both cases, you're bringing people together with wildly different temperaments, skills, motives, interests, and so on in order to create or change something. Both theatre and community organizing face similar dilemmas, especially when it comes to doing a big job with few resources.

So, I'm looking at ways in which we can use theatre to help promote social justice while at the same time applying social justice principles to making theatre. Does that make sense?

BA: It makes perfect sense to me. How much has the main character being a Queer woman, as well as Black woman, entered into discussions and/or people’s response?

SH: Honestly, not that much. But when talking with queer women of color, it does come up more often. It's one of those situations where queer find the play REALLY queer while it goes way over the heads of straight cis people. It's not about in-jokes or anything like that, but generally how the characters understand themselves and relate to each other.

BA: What’s going on with Tulpa now? With such a great response, I hope it has a future…

SH: I'd been interested in another performance for a while, but not it looks like there is an opportunity for more performances in mid-to late April. Because of the energy and insight generated at the post-performance discussions, I'm also looking for ways to turn Tulpa, or Anne&Me into a workshop or seminar that can tour in different cities. I'm also working with someone to develop a seminar or workshop using Tulpa as a keystone piece through which we can learn about and examine anti-racist concepts. I have my work cut out for me, but it's work that really means something to me and the people who've been touched by Tulpa, so I don't mind.

Right at this moment, though, I'm putting together a fundraising campaign for the 2012 production of Tulpa, or Anne&Me. I'm trying to raise $3000.00 which will go toward rehearsal space, marketing/publicity/advertising, copies of scripts, props and costumes, tech and design, and -- most importantly -- small stipends for the cast and crew.

BA:  What happens once you get the $3,000.00?

SH: I'm gearing up for a mid- to late April performance here in NYC. As with any project, that depends on how things work out. Right now the main thing is raising money, so I'm putting together a volunteer fundraising team to help with that. After that, I have to hire a cast and crew, book rehearsal space, and so on.

BA: Will it be exactly the same show, or will you make some changes?

SH: Every time I do a show there are changes. I tweak the script, try working with different people, approaching the process differently. I'm very much like a scientist conducting experiments and using what I observe to make my work more interesting, more meaningful, more theatrical, and so on.

BA: What is next for you, as a playwright?

SH: I'm currently working on a script I want to have a complete draft of for NaNoWriMo. (Note from BA: NaNoWriMo is short for “National Novel Writing Month”, an event that takes place every fall to challenge writers to write a whole novel and/or 50,000 words in the month of November and no, Poppets, I’m not participating.) It's a straight-up fantasy about the human slaves who discover lost secrets of magic and use them to rise up against their elven masters. The story is a lot less personal than Tulpa, and I look forward to finishing a draft.

BA: Good luck with the fantasy script and with NaNoWriMo! Finally, Shawn, supporting LGBTQ projects and voices is very important to Betty Pages readers. Where do they go if they want to donate or get more information?

SH: Online, they can go to https://www.fracturedatlas.org/donate/3503. Or they can always email me at whoisyourtulpa@gmail.com.

(Or, my internet-only readers, you can click here.)

And there you have it, Poppets, a little bit of closure for all of us at the end of the year. Feels good, doesn’t it? Yeah, I thought so, too.

Until next month, Poppets, have a safe and happy holiday season whatever you’re celebrating, don’t forget to call a cab, and, as always, take care of you.

November 2011

If you have read this column for any length of time, you may have realized I can be *ahem* a little political. I know, Poppets, it’s a shock. For the most part, this is a good thing. The one problem I have found with being political, though, is it can also make you angry. I can tell you almost every setback, almost every hurdle we face. Hell, I have told you. I’m a little political, after all. There’s a bumper sticker that reads If You’re Not Enraged, You’re Not Paying Attention. Yep. I get it.

But I also get there is a lot of anger in this world already. For me, adding my anger to the mix isn’t always helpful. Often, it’s pointless, at best, and counterproductive, at worst. I mean, isn’t the whole point of being aware, of paying attention, of being a little political is to make things better?

So, in this month of Thanksgiving, instead of railing – although you know I could – I offer you this list of political advances we have made, and for which I am thankful. President Barack Obama has…

• Signed the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act, which expanded existing United States federal hate crime law to include crimes motivated by a victim’s actual or perceived gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, or disability -- the first positive federal LGBT legislation in the nation's history
• Repealed Don't Ask/Don't Tell
• Signed the Ryan White HIV/AIDS Treatment Extension Act
• Reversed US refusal to sign the UN Declaration on Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity
• Extended benefits to same-sex partners of federal employees in 2009 and, further, in 2010
• Lifted the HIV Entry Ban
• Issued diplomatic passports, and provided other benefits, to the partners of same-sex foreign service employees
• Committed to ensuring that federal housing programs are open to all, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity
• Conceived a National Resource Center for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Elders -- the nation's first ever -- funded by a three-year HHS grant to SAG
• Banned job discrimination based on gender identity throughout the Federal government (the nation's largest employer)
• Eliminated the discriminatory Census Bureau policy that kept our relationships from being counted, encouraging couples who consider themselves married to file that way, even if their state of residence does not yet permit legal marriage
• Instructed HHS to require any hospital receiving Medicare or Medicaid funds (virtually all hospitals) to allow LGBT visitation rights
• Required all grant applicants seeking HUD funding to comply with state and local anti-discrimination laws that protect LGBT individuals
• Adopted transgender recommendations on the issuance of gender-appropriate passports that will ease barriers to safe travel and that will provide government-issued ID that avoids involuntary "outing" in situations requiring ID, like hiring, where a gender-appropriate driver's license or birth certificate is not available
• Extended domestic violence protections to LGBT victims
• Extended the Family and Medical Leave Act to cover employees taking unpaid leave to care for the children of same-sex partners
• Issued guidance specifically to assist LGBT tenants denied housing on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity
• Issued a National HIV/AIDS Strategy praised as "long-overdue" by the Task Force, Lambda and others
• Issued guidance to 15,000 local departments of education and 5,000 colleges to support educators in combating bullying
• Cut back authority to discharge under Don't Ask/Don't Tell from hundreds of generals to just 6 civilian appointees, effectively ending discharges while working toward a permanent end to the policy.
• Led the fight that reversed a 2010 UN vote removing sexual orientation from the list of things people should not be killed for
• Launched the first-ever national study of discrimination against members of the LGBT community in the rental and sale of housing
• Determined that Section 3 of DOMA is unconstitutional
• Determined that LGBT discrimination should be subject to a standard of "heightened scrutiny"
• Stopped defending DOMA, leading to "dramatic changes across the country and the federal government in the way that lawyers and judges see legal challenges brought by LGBT people - and, slowly but surely, in the way that LGBT people are able to live their lives"
• Filed an unprecedented brief detailing the history of discrimination faced by gay, lesbian and bisexual people in America, including by the federal government itself -- the single most persuasive legal argument ever advanced by the United States government in support of equality for lesbian, gay and bisexual people
• Vacated a court order that would have deported a gay American's Venezuelan partner
• Begun recognizing joint bankruptcy petitions filed by same-sex married couples
• Endorsed the Respect for Marriage Act
• Reduced the deportation threat faced by binational LGBT couples
• Authorized military chaplains to perform same-sex weddings on or off military bases
• Endorsed the Baldwin-Lieberman bill, The Domestic Partnership Benefits and Obligations Act of 2009, to provide FULL partnership benefits to federal employees
• Released the first Presidential PRIDE proclamations since 2000
• Hosted the first LGBT Pride Month Celebration in White House history
• Awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom to Harvey Milk and Billie Jean King, joining past recipients such as Rosa Parks
• Appointed the first ever transgender DNC member
• Testified in favor of ENDA, the first time any official of any administration has testified in the Senate on ENDA
• Hired more openly LGBT officials (like these) in its first two years -- more than 150, including more than 20 "Senate-confirmables" -- than any previous administration hired in four years or eight
• Sworn in Ambassador David Huebner
• Changed the culture of government everywhere from – among others – HUD and HHS to the Export-Import Bank, the State Department, and the Department of Education
• Appointed Justices Sonia Sotomayor and Elena Kagan, instead of conservatives who would have tilted the Court even further to the right and virtually doomed our rights for a generation.
• Named open transgender appointees (the first President ever to do so)
• Emphasized LGBT inclusion in everything from the President’s historic NAACP address. . . to the first paragraph of his Family Day proclamation and his Mothers Day proclamation . . . to creating the chance for an adorable 10-year-old at the White House Easter Egg roll to tell ABC World News how cool it is to have two mommies . . . to including the chair of the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce along with the Secretary of the Treasury and the President of Goldman Sachs in the small audience for the President’s economic address at the New York Stock Exchange . . . to welcoming four gay couples to its first State Dinner
• Recommitted, in a televised address, to passing ENDA . . . repealing Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell . . . repealing the so-called Defense of Marriage Act
• Spoken out against discrimination at the National Prayer Breakfast
• Dispatched the Secretary of Defense and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff to call on the Senate to repeal Don't Ask / Don't Tell
• Launched a website to gather public comment on first-ever federal LGBT housing discrimination study
• Appointed long-time equality champion Chai Feldblum one of the four Commissioners of the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission
• Produced U.S. Census Bureau PSAs featuring gay, lesbian, and transgender spokespersons
• Appointed Retired Colonel Margarethe Cammermeyer, an early public champion of open service in the military, to the Defense Advisory Committee on Women in the Services
• Publicly invited the shunned Mississippi high school prom student to the White House
• Successfully fought for UN accreditation of IGLHRC (the International Gay & Lesbian Human Rights Commission) -- against Republican attempts to block it
• Convened the first-ever anti-bullying summit to craft a national strategy to reduce bullying in schools
• Launched stopbullying.gov
• Awarded $13.3 million to the LA Gay & Lesbian Center to create a model program for LGBTQ youth in the foster care system
• Tweeted to 5.7 million BarackObama followers and nearly 2 million WhiteHouse followers the President's "It Gets Better" video
• Embraced that campaign with heartfelt messages from, as well, the Vice President, the Secretary of State, the Secretary of Agriculture (aimed particularly at rural youth), the Secretaries of Education and Health & Human Services, the Secretary of Labor (in English and Spanish), the Director of OPM and LGBT members of the White House staff
• Issued a Department of Justice video urging kids to call a Justice Department toll-free number if their school is aware of bullying but taking no action
• Held the first ever White House conference on bullying prevention, led by the President and First Lady
• Hosted first-ever White House transgender policy meeting
• Emphasized the positive value of Gay-straight Student Alliances (GSAs) and advised the nation's school districts of their legal responsibility to allow establishment of GSAs
• Appointed the first openly gay man to serve on the federal bench
• Nominated the first open lesbian US attorney
• Nominated the first openly gay US attorney to serve Texas
• Forced the Tehachipi Unified School District to prevent and respond to gender-based harassment
• Acknowledged in federal court the U.S. government's "significant and regrettable role" in discrimination in America against gays and lesbians, arguing that DOMA is unconstitutional.
• Appointed open lesbian activist to West Point advisory board
• Used the President's annual United Nations address to say, "no country should deny people their rights because of who they love, which is why we must stand up for the rights of gays and lesbians everywhere."
• Presented Janice Langbehn with the Presidential Citizens Award for her role in securing hospital visitation rights

~ compiled by Andrew Tobias, originally posted on www.eQualityGiving.org

Are there still issues? Please. Let’s not insult any of our intelligences by pretending otherwise – or even pretending everything the President said he would do has been done. And yes, we still have to stay aware of those things. But let’s stay aware of these things, as well. Sometimes, being political can mean knowing what to be thankful for.

October 2011

I know, Poppets, I know. Every October, it’s the same thing from me. I’m a broken record. But every October, it’s still Domestic Violence Awareness month. When it no longer needs to be, I’ll write about something else. Until then, I’m going to keep writing about it and trying to break down some of the stigma that goes along with admitting a relationship is unhealthy.

While you know I care about this issue every year, 2011 has been especially poignant for me. Back in January, two dear friends of mine recognized their relationships were abusive. What made it so difficult for both of them is neither was in a physically abusive relationship. Name calling, manipulation, belittling, psychological warfare, sure. But no hitting, no pushing, nothing that would have drawn that definitive line in the sand for either of my friends.

The other thing that made it so hard for both of them was neither of them is a person who is “supposed” to be in an abusive relationship. You know what I mean. We all have this idea of who a victim is, of who an abuser is. Neither of my friends fit that idea. The first one is an Alpha male, by any definition. Physically, mentally and emotionally strong; highly educated, with several degrees on his wall; a college professor type, along the lines of Rupert Giles, of Buffy fame. Not exactly your stereotypical victim.

The other is a woman, also well educated, from a strong, loving home. Her husband is an ordained minister. Not a stereotypical victim, but not your stereotypical abuser, either.

And that’s the way this works: we think we are immune because we aren’t a certain type; our abuser isn’t “one of those people;” we’re Queer, for God’s sake! Domestic violence is a straight problem. Only it’s not; neither of my friends mentioned here are straight. There is no “type.” There is no exempt community or group. There but for the grace of God, and all that. Which is why we must keep talking about it, writing about it, shining the light on it.

That’s where a couple really great organizations come in. Down in Seattle, the NW Network is an LGBT centered organization dealing with Queer and Transgendered domestic violence issues by working “to end violence and abuse by building loving and equitable relationships in our community and across the country.” To get help, offer help, or just to learn more, you can reach them Monday through Friday at 206/568-7777. Closer to home, the Skagit County Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Services is officially an LGBT safe zone. They offer a 24-hour hotline: 888/336-9591. Finally, the Washington state domestic violence hotline is available 24-hours a day, as well, at 800/562-6025, and its staff is trained to address the needs of our community.

It’s not easy to admit your partner is hurting you. Victims leave their abusers seven times on average, before it finally sticks. But you do not deserve to be belittled or threatened or hurt. And your batterer doesn’t deserve your protection. Neither of you can get better until the violence stops.

As for my friends? I’m pleased to report he got out. Blocked his phone, went to the police, did what he had to do to move on. She…well…I still have hope. I still have hope that one day she’ll leave him for good. Until then, until those of us who love you don’t have to worry any longer, I’ll keep writing, keep working, keep hoping. Broken record or not.

Until next month, Poppets, take care of you.

September 2011

Rejoice, Poppets! One of the greatest controversies of out time has been laid to rest: Bert and Ernie are not gay! I know; this has been keeping you up nights. Me, too!

Or not. However, the issue has been put to rest. With the legalization of same sex marriage in New York, an online petition was launched demanding Bert and Ernie be married on Sesame Street.

 Personally, I think children’s shows should start addressing non-traditional families. Hell yes. Children need to learn that their families, and their friends’ families, are valid and valued, regardless of make-up. Given my deep and long-standing love and respect for Sesame Street, I hope they are the ones to do it. The human beings in charge of the show, however, have made the official announcement that, if they address the issue of LGBT families, it won’t be through Bert and Ernie. Because they aren’t gay.

I’m okay with this. Not because I think kids’ shows should be sexless; I don’t. We deal with mommies having babies and mommies and daddies becoming parents, as appropriate. Not that I think puppet characters can’t be sexual; I don’t. Kermit and Miss Piggy have had a thing for years – as have Gonzo and the chickens, which is far weirder than two gay Muppets, in my opinion. No, I’m okay with this because I do believe boys need to be taught that it is okay for them to have deep, meaningful, emotional, platonic relationships with other boys. We were kind of, sort of taught this in the ‘70s – I remember because I was there, learning it – but we lost sight of it somewhere along the line. We are back to needing to teach boys it’s okay to love other boys, regardless of orientation. Bert and Ernie are good for that.

 So Muppets, gay or straight, aren’t the issue I have here. The issue I have is with the petition itself. The fight for recognition and equality and the petition that gets all the attention is about Muppets? If you believe same sex marriage is a major milestone within the community or if you believe it is a distraction from bigger problems, you have to wonder about this. Okay, maybe you don’t. I do, though.

If we’re going to be discussing same sex marriage, let’s talk about it the context of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT). Because even once DADT is repealed later this month, the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) still stands and because of DOMA gay partners of gay soldiers don’t get the same benefits as their straight counterparts. No, they don’t have to hide any longer. The partner just doesn’t officially exist. No legal standing, no i.d., no benefits, no housing or commissary access.

Sure, the repeal of DADT is new and all the details haven’t been worked out yet, but DADT ends this month. There are still military families in limbo, in half-space, because without DADT they exist – but with DOMA, they don’t exist.

If we’re going to talk about same sex marriage, why aren’t we talking about this? Why aren’t we yelling about this? Why are we focusing on a couple of puppets?

Again, I love those puppets. I know first hand how important Sesame Street and the Muppets are. But come on. If we’re going to have the dialogue, let’s make it matter.

Until next month, Poppets, take care of you.