Hi Poppets! Guess what? I might be on the move again. I know, I know. Never put my address in permanent ink. That’s just a bad idea. While I always look forward to a move, this one is good for me on another level, as well. This one is causing me to face and rethink some prejudgments I didn’t even realize I had. See, we’re moving to Alaska. Yep, this city girl is going to the home of flannel shirts, lumberjacks, moose and Sarah Palin. Need I say I wasn’t very excited about it at first?
Somewhat grudgingly, I started researching Anchorage. After all, we would need a place to live, buy groceries, see the occasional movie. And what I discovered surprised me. A lot.
Anchorage has a gay scene to rival any city’s in the lower 48 – and better than many – but it’s not just in Anchorage (although in fairness, much of it is in Anchorage but much of everything in Alaska is in Anchorage so…). The whole state has LGBT friendly resorts and towns and tours. Even the main airline, Alaska Airline, is officially one of the best places to work in the US if you are homosexual and/or a transgendered person. Plus, the Alaskan men on the site David and I belong to are oh so numerous and oh so very cute.
It was quite a wake-up call for me. My assumptions were of closed-minded bigots and people who couldn’t make it down here in the contiguous United States. I was already prepping myself to go in as a sociologist, simply observing, keeping my head down until it was time for us to move on. More than being surprised by Alaska, though, I was surprised by myself…and the chip on my shoulder. The negative stereotypes I was so willing to believe, without proof one way or another. Instead, I have found a thriving and healthy LGBT community.
Admittedly, we haven’t moved yet. It may be very different living it than it is researching it. Whatever living it is actually like, though, Anchorage still has an LGBT community center, a PFLAG office, a youth center, an Imperial Court, several dance clubs, and a handful of social clubs. Regardless of if they are there because they are welcome or if they are there because they are fighting for acceptance, they are there. Which is more than I was expecting, or willing to give them.
Learn from my mistakes this month, Poppets. Watch yourselves. Watch your assumptions. Be open to having your minds changed for the better, not just the worse. And until next month, take care of you.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
March 2010
Hi Poppets! I’ve been very political recently, I know, but let’s be honest: there is so much going on within and about the community that it’s hard not to be political these days. This month, I told David, was going to be different. This month, I was going to focus on fun, wonderful things to do and leave the politics to my betters. And then I saw a bumper sticker. The bumper sticker read Tolerance Is For People Without Conviction. Are you kidding me? According to the owners of this car, Jesus had no conviction; Nelson Mandela has no conviction; Archbishop Desmond Tutu has no conviction; Mother Teresa had no conviction. With a group like this, maybe I’ll start claiming to have no conviction.
Now, part of me is still furious, as I think you know me well enough to know. However, since I have been very political recently, I think I will stick with my original plan this month. After all, since I have been released from having conviction, let’s look at events coming up in the area…
First, in case you hadn’t noticed, Gay Bingo is back! They’ve moved to a new location at Freemont Studios but it’s still Gay Bingo. It’s still a great night. It still benefits a worthy cause (the Lifelong AIDS Alliance). This month, the theme is When In Rome on March 20th. Next month is Biker Babes on the 17th of April. Doors open at 6:00 pm and the event starts at 7:00. If you want more information, check out http://www.gaybingoseattle.org or http://www.lifelongaidsalliance.org/gaybingo.
Next, the Seattle Men’s Chorus is bringing their Latin music show, Ole! Ole! Ole!, to life on Saturday, April 10th at 8:00 pm and Sunday, April 11th at 2:00 pm. The Saturday night performance is followed by a dance, free to all ticket holders. Get moving at the concert and stay moving into the night, until 1:00 am! Cash bar and food will be available, too. More information can be found here: http://www.flyinghouse.org/smc/ole/.
If you love to dance but country is more your style, check out the Emerald City Hoedown, April 23-25, also in Seattle. Three days of dancing, music, and great people – all to a country western beat, courtesy of Rain Country Dance Association. And no, you don’t have to be a member to attend. While primarily geared toward the LGBT community, Rain Country Dance is straight-friendly, as well, and open to all. Details about the Hoedown and the Association can be found at http://www.raincountrydance.org/hoedown.asp and http://www.raincountrydance.org/index.asp respectively.
Finally, for this article at least, it’s the time of year for Dining Out For Life (http://www.diningoutforlife.com/). Regardless of where you are, you can participate. Take a run up to the Vancouver, B.C. area on the 25th of this month to eat at some fabulous restaurants and then, on April 29th, be in either Seattle or Portland and repeat. Two delicious nights out; one worthy cause.
So, Poppets, if you want to stick to your convictions and keep tolerating, or if you want to throw up your hands for a few weeks and shun those who aren’t lucky enough to be us, here are a few ways to do it in style – snarkiness optional. Whichever you choose, until next month, take care of you.
Now, part of me is still furious, as I think you know me well enough to know. However, since I have been very political recently, I think I will stick with my original plan this month. After all, since I have been released from having conviction, let’s look at events coming up in the area…
First, in case you hadn’t noticed, Gay Bingo is back! They’ve moved to a new location at Freemont Studios but it’s still Gay Bingo. It’s still a great night. It still benefits a worthy cause (the Lifelong AIDS Alliance). This month, the theme is When In Rome on March 20th. Next month is Biker Babes on the 17th of April. Doors open at 6:00 pm and the event starts at 7:00. If you want more information, check out http://www.gaybingoseattle.org or http://www.lifelongaidsalliance.org/gaybingo.
Next, the Seattle Men’s Chorus is bringing their Latin music show, Ole! Ole! Ole!, to life on Saturday, April 10th at 8:00 pm and Sunday, April 11th at 2:00 pm. The Saturday night performance is followed by a dance, free to all ticket holders. Get moving at the concert and stay moving into the night, until 1:00 am! Cash bar and food will be available, too. More information can be found here: http://www.flyinghouse.org/smc/ole/.
If you love to dance but country is more your style, check out the Emerald City Hoedown, April 23-25, also in Seattle. Three days of dancing, music, and great people – all to a country western beat, courtesy of Rain Country Dance Association. And no, you don’t have to be a member to attend. While primarily geared toward the LGBT community, Rain Country Dance is straight-friendly, as well, and open to all. Details about the Hoedown and the Association can be found at http://www.raincountrydance.org/hoedown.asp and http://www.raincountrydance.org/index.asp respectively.
Finally, for this article at least, it’s the time of year for Dining Out For Life (http://www.diningoutforlife.com/). Regardless of where you are, you can participate. Take a run up to the Vancouver, B.C. area on the 25th of this month to eat at some fabulous restaurants and then, on April 29th, be in either Seattle or Portland and repeat. Two delicious nights out; one worthy cause.
So, Poppets, if you want to stick to your convictions and keep tolerating, or if you want to throw up your hands for a few weeks and shun those who aren’t lucky enough to be us, here are a few ways to do it in style – snarkiness optional. Whichever you choose, until next month, take care of you.
Monday, February 1, 2010
February 2010
Hi Poppets! Have you seen the movie Avatar, yet? I have a confession: I have not. Not being much of a fantasy geek, it just doesn’t hold that much interest for me, even if it is on track to being one of the top-grossing movies of all time. It seems everyone has something to say about it though, which is why I think I’m probably the only person in America who hasn’t seen it yet. Generally speaking, I don’t listen to reviews much. As a writer, I know how subjective they are. However, one particular review (in fairness, posted on Facebook by the friend of a friend of mine) led me down some interesting paths.
The FB post was written by Mark (not his real name) who happens to be a black man. His comment was “once again, the white man saves the day, but it was still a great movie.” When my friend, who happens to be a white woman, told me about this comment, she finished with the aside, “Mark’s gotten a little militant.” My response was “Actually, so have I.” And we both laughed and that was the end of it.
Only it wasn’t the end of it for me. That line, Mark’s gotten a little militant has stayed with me. At what point did acknowledging subtle, culture-wide, frustratingly acceptable prejudices mean one was militant?
Over the last several months, I’ve read bloggers and articles from people of color, women, members of the LGBT community, and yes, even some white, straight folks, who are pointing out these prejudices in everything from comic books to public policy. Movies where the supposedly strong woman still has to be rescued by her male counterpart. Comic books where the token gay character is nothing more than an animated stereotype. Policy that claims to protect one group of people, while throwing another group under the bus. And let’s not forget the justice of the peace at the end of last year who refused to grant a marriage license to an inter-racial couple because of the “emotional harm” society could do to any children resulting from the marriage.
My friend and I grew up together. We wore out cassette tapes of South African songs of freedom. We wrote letters to politicians. We wore ribbons and peace signs (back before they were in style again). Now, twenty-five years later, a black man acknowledging – with humor, nonetheless – the underlying theme of the white man saving the day is militant.
I’ll be honest; I’ve never considered myself militant. I am an unapologetic rights activist. I write for the Betty Pages, even though I’m a straight woman. I write about the racism surrounding our President even though I’m a white woman. The Constitution still means something very important to me. I listen and I talk; I teach and I learn. Does that make me militant? Maybe. Apparently. But I can live with that. For me, it beats the alternative of silence.
And, on an only slightly related note (so please forgive the bad segue), I don’t only call out others when I think they’ve been wrong. I try to admit it when I am, as well. Last month, I called out the President for not standing up more strongly for the LGBT community. Since then, Mr. Obama has appointed the first openly transgendered woman to a Presidential position. Amanda Simpson, formerly Mitchell Simpson, will be a senior technical advisor to the Commerce Department. This is the bravest step any president has ever taken on our behalf, don’t fool yourself. Thank you, sir, for proving me wrong. In spite of last month’s article, I still believe this man is a friend of ours and supports us. If I’m going to call out others, I should call out myself as well. That, too, beats the alternative of silence.
Until next month, Poppets, take care of you.
The FB post was written by Mark (not his real name) who happens to be a black man. His comment was “once again, the white man saves the day, but it was still a great movie.” When my friend, who happens to be a white woman, told me about this comment, she finished with the aside, “Mark’s gotten a little militant.” My response was “Actually, so have I.” And we both laughed and that was the end of it.
Only it wasn’t the end of it for me. That line, Mark’s gotten a little militant has stayed with me. At what point did acknowledging subtle, culture-wide, frustratingly acceptable prejudices mean one was militant?
Over the last several months, I’ve read bloggers and articles from people of color, women, members of the LGBT community, and yes, even some white, straight folks, who are pointing out these prejudices in everything from comic books to public policy. Movies where the supposedly strong woman still has to be rescued by her male counterpart. Comic books where the token gay character is nothing more than an animated stereotype. Policy that claims to protect one group of people, while throwing another group under the bus. And let’s not forget the justice of the peace at the end of last year who refused to grant a marriage license to an inter-racial couple because of the “emotional harm” society could do to any children resulting from the marriage.
My friend and I grew up together. We wore out cassette tapes of South African songs of freedom. We wrote letters to politicians. We wore ribbons and peace signs (back before they were in style again). Now, twenty-five years later, a black man acknowledging – with humor, nonetheless – the underlying theme of the white man saving the day is militant.
I’ll be honest; I’ve never considered myself militant. I am an unapologetic rights activist. I write for the Betty Pages, even though I’m a straight woman. I write about the racism surrounding our President even though I’m a white woman. The Constitution still means something very important to me. I listen and I talk; I teach and I learn. Does that make me militant? Maybe. Apparently. But I can live with that. For me, it beats the alternative of silence.
And, on an only slightly related note (so please forgive the bad segue), I don’t only call out others when I think they’ve been wrong. I try to admit it when I am, as well. Last month, I called out the President for not standing up more strongly for the LGBT community. Since then, Mr. Obama has appointed the first openly transgendered woman to a Presidential position. Amanda Simpson, formerly Mitchell Simpson, will be a senior technical advisor to the Commerce Department. This is the bravest step any president has ever taken on our behalf, don’t fool yourself. Thank you, sir, for proving me wrong. In spite of last month’s article, I still believe this man is a friend of ours and supports us. If I’m going to call out others, I should call out myself as well. That, too, beats the alternative of silence.
Until next month, Poppets, take care of you.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
January 2010
Happy New Year, Poppets! It’s 2010. Amazing isn’t it? Hopefully, your holidays were peaceful and joyous. Mine were good, which is always a lovely thing to report. But, with the holidays over and the new year rung in, it’s time for me to come out of my gothic-y Martha Stewart stage and start paying attention again.
Turns out, we’re coming up on an important anniversary. It’s been almost a year since Barack Obama took the oath of office. And oh dear… Sometimes being a Libra isn’t the easiest thing to be. Generally speaking, Libras are very good at seeing all sides of an issue.
See, our president made many promises to the LGBT community during the campaign. The passage of the Employment Nondiscrimination Act (ENDA); the end of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT); the repealing of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). We opened our hearts and our wallets. We registered and campaigned and talked. We rallied and voted. He won us over and we helped ensure he won. Yet, so far, there has been no movement on any of these issues.
We deserve better. It is, after all, 2010. How is it possible we are still having this debate in 2010?
And yet, the Libra in me kicks in, this is the same president who was left with the greatest economic failure of most of our lifetimes, a two front war, a country as polarized as we’ve ever seen, an education system that is barely viable, and the distrust and disrespect of the global community. The needs of one group – any group – must be put on the back burner until our country is functioning again. Because don’t fool yourselves; our country is barely functioning. Those infamous foundations? They are still cracking and crumbling out from under us.
This has taken nearly a decade to the layperson’s eye, and some experts say going back to the 1970s, to create. This won’t be turned around in one year. It can’t be, no matter who is in the White House or what promises were made. Let’s get the country stable again and then we can start holding him to the promises he made to the smaller groups of constituents.
And yet, I answer myself, not moving on a promise because there are other, more urgent issues, is one thing. To use the weight of the White House and the Department of Justice (DOJ) to countermand future legal actions brought by us and on our behalf, is another. To use cases involving incest and pedophilia to justify the Constitutionality of DOMA (as the DOJ did last summer) oversteps. This isn’t just silence or inaction. Nor is it innocuous. Nor is it necessary. While the DOJ must defend current laws, it needs not defend them by legitimizing the opposition’s most inflammatory, oppressive stances. It needs not give validity to the opposition’s greatest fears.
Still, the Libra speaks up once I’ve calmed down a bit, and then she goes silent. Because there were other ways to handle this. Ways that didn’t betray us. Silence, I could have understood. I could’ve even defended. I don’t expect miracles in a year, I never did. But I didn’t expect this White House, this President, to set us up, either. It’s important now for us to think clearly. To come together as a community. To remind President Obama about his promises. We got him elected once. We don’t have to do it twice. Maybe a year in is a good time to get that message across. What do you think? Let me know at lifeandtimesofbridget@gmail.com.
And, until next month, Poppets, take care of you.
Turns out, we’re coming up on an important anniversary. It’s been almost a year since Barack Obama took the oath of office. And oh dear… Sometimes being a Libra isn’t the easiest thing to be. Generally speaking, Libras are very good at seeing all sides of an issue.
See, our president made many promises to the LGBT community during the campaign. The passage of the Employment Nondiscrimination Act (ENDA); the end of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT); the repealing of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). We opened our hearts and our wallets. We registered and campaigned and talked. We rallied and voted. He won us over and we helped ensure he won. Yet, so far, there has been no movement on any of these issues.
We deserve better. It is, after all, 2010. How is it possible we are still having this debate in 2010?
And yet, the Libra in me kicks in, this is the same president who was left with the greatest economic failure of most of our lifetimes, a two front war, a country as polarized as we’ve ever seen, an education system that is barely viable, and the distrust and disrespect of the global community. The needs of one group – any group – must be put on the back burner until our country is functioning again. Because don’t fool yourselves; our country is barely functioning. Those infamous foundations? They are still cracking and crumbling out from under us.
This has taken nearly a decade to the layperson’s eye, and some experts say going back to the 1970s, to create. This won’t be turned around in one year. It can’t be, no matter who is in the White House or what promises were made. Let’s get the country stable again and then we can start holding him to the promises he made to the smaller groups of constituents.
And yet, I answer myself, not moving on a promise because there are other, more urgent issues, is one thing. To use the weight of the White House and the Department of Justice (DOJ) to countermand future legal actions brought by us and on our behalf, is another. To use cases involving incest and pedophilia to justify the Constitutionality of DOMA (as the DOJ did last summer) oversteps. This isn’t just silence or inaction. Nor is it innocuous. Nor is it necessary. While the DOJ must defend current laws, it needs not defend them by legitimizing the opposition’s most inflammatory, oppressive stances. It needs not give validity to the opposition’s greatest fears.
Still, the Libra speaks up once I’ve calmed down a bit, and then she goes silent. Because there were other ways to handle this. Ways that didn’t betray us. Silence, I could have understood. I could’ve even defended. I don’t expect miracles in a year, I never did. But I didn’t expect this White House, this President, to set us up, either. It’s important now for us to think clearly. To come together as a community. To remind President Obama about his promises. We got him elected once. We don’t have to do it twice. Maybe a year in is a good time to get that message across. What do you think? Let me know at lifeandtimesofbridget@gmail.com.
And, until next month, Poppets, take care of you.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
December 2009
Hi Poppets! Happy holidays to you and yours! Once again, as with last year, it’s a tough time for the country, for the economy, for many, many families – mine included, if truth be told. Several of us are having a hard time providing for our own children and partners and parents, let alone anyone else. Yet this time of year is the time most of us think about giving, as well. It’s an ugly Catch 22: we want to give to those in need but we are in need ourselves but we want to give but we can’t give…you get the idea. Maybe you even live the idea. So what to do? I can’t answer that question for you. I can, however (because it’s my column after all), give you a suggestion. This year, it’s all about critical mass.
Instead of traditional gifts, go old school. Find recipes and do some baking. Cookies, fudge, candies…there are so many surprisingly easy recipes out there and available. One of my favorites is actually my mother’s spiced tea recipe, which doesn’t require any more skill than being able to mix powders. Hello! It doesn’t get any easier than that.
Still too expensive? Find three other friends in the same boat. Sadly, I bet that won’t be too hard for most of us. Each of you buy the ingredients for one or two goodies, get together and bake. Hell, somebody splurge for a cheap wine and make a night of it. Once everything has cooled or set, swap out. A dozen chocolate chip cookies is only so interesting. A paper plate or Tupperware of four different sweets will make anyone happy. And your gift recipients never need know you didn’t bake them all!
Great ideas, assuming you have the time or the inclination to bake. Since not everyone goes all Martha Stewart-y this time of year, I do understand these are not good ideas for some. But would I leave you hanging? Of course not. You’re still broke. You still want to give. You still don’t bake. Fine.
Find those three other friends who are in the same situation and figure out how much you each can afford. Five dollars? Ten? No problem. Pool it and choose a charity. Personally, I suggest you give them the cash. They will be able to make your dollars go much further than you can. And remember, you’re not just giving them your five dollars. You’re giving them your group’s twenty dollars. I used to work human services; trust me. Twenty dollars is great. Twenty dollars is a Christmas dinner or a tank of gas or a night in a shelter in the right hands. See? It’s all about critical mass.
Even this year, we can take care of each other. And isn’t that really what this time of year is all about, in the long run? Have a happy holiday, whatever you celebrate. Take care of each other – and accept this as my holiday gift to you (be smart though – if you’re allergic to anything in it, please don’t make it, deal? Deal.)
Susan's Spiced Tea
2 cups Tang
2 scoops instant lemonade (if anybody can still find Wyler's, it's especially good)
1 cup instant, unsweetened tea (caffeinated or decaf, optional)
1 teaspoon ground clove
1 heaping teaspoon cinnamon
Combine all ingredients in a large bowl. Add three heaping teaspoons to a mug. Fill mug with boiling water and stir.
Enjoy and until next month, Poppets, take care of you.
Instead of traditional gifts, go old school. Find recipes and do some baking. Cookies, fudge, candies…there are so many surprisingly easy recipes out there and available. One of my favorites is actually my mother’s spiced tea recipe, which doesn’t require any more skill than being able to mix powders. Hello! It doesn’t get any easier than that.
Still too expensive? Find three other friends in the same boat. Sadly, I bet that won’t be too hard for most of us. Each of you buy the ingredients for one or two goodies, get together and bake. Hell, somebody splurge for a cheap wine and make a night of it. Once everything has cooled or set, swap out. A dozen chocolate chip cookies is only so interesting. A paper plate or Tupperware of four different sweets will make anyone happy. And your gift recipients never need know you didn’t bake them all!
Great ideas, assuming you have the time or the inclination to bake. Since not everyone goes all Martha Stewart-y this time of year, I do understand these are not good ideas for some. But would I leave you hanging? Of course not. You’re still broke. You still want to give. You still don’t bake. Fine.
Find those three other friends who are in the same situation and figure out how much you each can afford. Five dollars? Ten? No problem. Pool it and choose a charity. Personally, I suggest you give them the cash. They will be able to make your dollars go much further than you can. And remember, you’re not just giving them your five dollars. You’re giving them your group’s twenty dollars. I used to work human services; trust me. Twenty dollars is great. Twenty dollars is a Christmas dinner or a tank of gas or a night in a shelter in the right hands. See? It’s all about critical mass.
Even this year, we can take care of each other. And isn’t that really what this time of year is all about, in the long run? Have a happy holiday, whatever you celebrate. Take care of each other – and accept this as my holiday gift to you (be smart though – if you’re allergic to anything in it, please don’t make it, deal? Deal.)
Susan's Spiced Tea
2 cups Tang
2 scoops instant lemonade (if anybody can still find Wyler's, it's especially good)
1 cup instant, unsweetened tea (caffeinated or decaf, optional)
1 teaspoon ground clove
1 heaping teaspoon cinnamon
Combine all ingredients in a large bowl. Add three heaping teaspoons to a mug. Fill mug with boiling water and stir.
Enjoy and until next month, Poppets, take care of you.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
November 1, 2009
It’s Thanksgiving time, Poppets. Turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie, all that good stuff. Technically, it’s supposed to be about more than that. You know it. I know it. And yet…sometimes it can be hard to find things to give thanks for. The politics around the origins of this holiday are iffy at best. Neither the time it celebrates – the first feast with the indigenous peoples who helped us survive before we wiped them out – nor the time it was inaugurated – the 1950s and those glory years in our country’s history – are particularly worth our pride or our thanks, let’s be honest here.
Currently, our community is under heavy fire from the conservative Christian right wing and it often feels that for every step forward we take, we get shoved two backwards. What the hell is there to be thankful for?
Recently, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and expressing my sadness and disgust over the rising tide of conservatism that is sweeping the nation in the name of Christianity. Now, as my Betty Pages readers know, I’m not Christian but I was raised Christian by extremely liberal Christians. I’ve read the Bible. I know my theology. And you know what? The hate that is being preached doesn’t line up with what I was taught in Sunday school.
As I was expressing my sadness and disgust, my friend reminded me that the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA) recently voted to allow LGBT pastors to be open and in relationships. Along with that, she pointed me to a man named Lee Miller. He is a young pastor in the Lutheran church. Apparently, Pastor Miller reads the same Bible I used to. In other words, Lee Miller gets it – and he is willing to stand up and preach it.
This past summer, at the convention where this debate and the final vote was taking place, he stood in his collar and spoke out in support of LGBT pastors. He spoke of God’s love. He spoke of God’s acceptance of everyone. My favorite quote was that he “is not saved because (he’s) heterosexual but because of God’s love.” He could’ve stayed quiet and simply cast his vote. He could’ve paid lip service to that which was safe and then cast his conscious. He didn’t. The cynic in me had to know why, so I asked. Here’s what he told me:
When I was a teenager I met a friend at a national church gathering. People thought we were twins; we were instant, fast, friends. K.C. knew his Bible better than I did. When I was depressed over school, or a break up, or life; he would send a letter including a verse from scripture to encourage me.
K.C. came to know himself as being gay. He wrestled with the Bible that he knew so well, and the church who he loved so much. In his sophomore year of college K.C. took his own life. He could never reconcile his faith with his sexuality.
K.C. had the gifts for ministry. Many of my gay colleagues have
excellent gifts for ministry. I can't allow another person to take their own life (or live in an indoctrinated state of shame) because of the way God has created them; and the way the institution has treated them.
I wanted to stand up for K.C. I had to tell his story.
And you know what else? He’s had a hard time since. People have actually called him a false prophet and the antichrist. The Antichrist. He’s “saddened” by this. Which automatically makes him a better person than I am because I’m just pissed off about it. He’s also not backing down. And he’s not backing down because he believes ~ and wants us to know ~ That Christians are not carried by one voice. That there are Christians (for me, especially the Lutherans) who will speak a word of God's Grace (love) for all people regardless of who they are, where they come from, where they have been, and where they are going. I believe all people are created in the image of God; and what God wants for us in community is loving, caring, faithful relationships. I want the LGBT (and the straight) community to know salvation does not come through sexuality, it comes through God, who chooses all of us - to give us life - and God has a place for Everyone at the table.
So…talk to me about Thanksgiving again. Ask me what I’m giving thanks for this year. I have an answer. This particular Pagan is giving thanks for an ass-kicking, conscience-speaking Lutheran pastor, Lee Miller, who reminds me that not every voice that speaks, speaks against me, my husband, my friends and family. Who reminds me that while the country and Christianity may be becoming more conservative, there are indeed still people standing with us. Who reminds me I don’t always have to be the cynic. And that’s worth being thankful for.
Until next month, Poppets, take care of you.
Currently, our community is under heavy fire from the conservative Christian right wing and it often feels that for every step forward we take, we get shoved two backwards. What the hell is there to be thankful for?
Recently, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and expressing my sadness and disgust over the rising tide of conservatism that is sweeping the nation in the name of Christianity. Now, as my Betty Pages readers know, I’m not Christian but I was raised Christian by extremely liberal Christians. I’ve read the Bible. I know my theology. And you know what? The hate that is being preached doesn’t line up with what I was taught in Sunday school.
As I was expressing my sadness and disgust, my friend reminded me that the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA) recently voted to allow LGBT pastors to be open and in relationships. Along with that, she pointed me to a man named Lee Miller. He is a young pastor in the Lutheran church. Apparently, Pastor Miller reads the same Bible I used to. In other words, Lee Miller gets it – and he is willing to stand up and preach it.
This past summer, at the convention where this debate and the final vote was taking place, he stood in his collar and spoke out in support of LGBT pastors. He spoke of God’s love. He spoke of God’s acceptance of everyone. My favorite quote was that he “is not saved because (he’s) heterosexual but because of God’s love.” He could’ve stayed quiet and simply cast his vote. He could’ve paid lip service to that which was safe and then cast his conscious. He didn’t. The cynic in me had to know why, so I asked. Here’s what he told me:
When I was a teenager I met a friend at a national church gathering. People thought we were twins; we were instant, fast, friends. K.C. knew his Bible better than I did. When I was depressed over school, or a break up, or life; he would send a letter including a verse from scripture to encourage me.
K.C. came to know himself as being gay. He wrestled with the Bible that he knew so well, and the church who he loved so much. In his sophomore year of college K.C. took his own life. He could never reconcile his faith with his sexuality.
K.C. had the gifts for ministry. Many of my gay colleagues have
excellent gifts for ministry. I can't allow another person to take their own life (or live in an indoctrinated state of shame) because of the way God has created them; and the way the institution has treated them.
I wanted to stand up for K.C. I had to tell his story.
And you know what else? He’s had a hard time since. People have actually called him a false prophet and the antichrist. The Antichrist. He’s “saddened” by this. Which automatically makes him a better person than I am because I’m just pissed off about it. He’s also not backing down. And he’s not backing down because he believes ~ and wants us to know ~ That Christians are not carried by one voice. That there are Christians (for me, especially the Lutherans) who will speak a word of God's Grace (love) for all people regardless of who they are, where they come from, where they have been, and where they are going. I believe all people are created in the image of God; and what God wants for us in community is loving, caring, faithful relationships. I want the LGBT (and the straight) community to know salvation does not come through sexuality, it comes through God, who chooses all of us - to give us life - and God has a place for Everyone at the table.
So…talk to me about Thanksgiving again. Ask me what I’m giving thanks for this year. I have an answer. This particular Pagan is giving thanks for an ass-kicking, conscience-speaking Lutheran pastor, Lee Miller, who reminds me that not every voice that speaks, speaks against me, my husband, my friends and family. Who reminds me that while the country and Christianity may be becoming more conservative, there are indeed still people standing with us. Who reminds me I don’t always have to be the cynic. And that’s worth being thankful for.
Until next month, Poppets, take care of you.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
October 2009
Ah, Poppets, it’s Autumn again and you know I love Autumn. As always, there’s so much I could write about. However, this month, I’m going to talk about an issue I have mentioned in passing before, but think it’s time to address it more fully.
October is, as some of you may know or remember, Domestic Violence Awareness Month. And guess what? As much as we want it to be, as much as we want to pretend otherwise, domestic violence isn’t just a straight issue. In fact, according to the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence, “same-sex battering mirrors heterosexual battering both in type and prevalence” {This material was reprinted/adapted from the publication titled Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans (LGBT) Communities and Domestic Violence: Information and Resources (2007) by the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence} which translates into 25-33% of all lesbian and gay couples (The NW Network of Bi, Trans, Lesbian and Gay Survivors of Abuse, http://www.nwnetwork.org/).
So…what? Why do you care? Maybe you don’t and maybe I can’t make you.
But maybe you haven’t realized that statistically, you know a victim of domestic violence. Think about it. Statistically, one in every four intimate relationships includes some kind of domestic violence. Domestic violence can be physical, emotional, verbal, and/or sexual. Even between same-sex individuals, it is never a “fair fight” nor is the more “butch” or physically more masculine member of the couple always the batterer. Domestic violence will include fear, shame, and intimidation. And you know someone who is experiencing this right now.
Or maybe you didn’t realize you weren’t the only LGBT victim of domestic violence. You believed the myth that domestic violence just doesn’t occur within our community, so this doesn’t count. Or that because you fight back to defend yourself, it’s not really domestic violence. Or because your partner “only” calls you names, doesn’t hit you, it’s not really domestic violence. Maybe you believed that you aren’t in the “right” group of people to be a victim.
Maybe you weren’t aware. But now you are. If you or someone you care about is in an abusive relationship, you aren’t alone. If you think you or someone you care about might be in an abusive relationship, you aren’t alone. There is help, as close as Seattle. The NW Network of Bi, Trans, Lesbian and Gay Survivors of Abuse is there, ready to listen, ready to believe you. Contact them in whatever way makes you most comfortable here: PO Box 18436, Seattle, WA 98118 or (206)-568-7777 or info@nwnetwork.org. Their office hours are Monday-Friday, 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m.
It’s time to be aware, Poppets. This month and the other eleven in the year, too. Enjoy Autumn – I will – just remember to take care of you, and each other.
October is, as some of you may know or remember, Domestic Violence Awareness Month. And guess what? As much as we want it to be, as much as we want to pretend otherwise, domestic violence isn’t just a straight issue. In fact, according to the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence, “same-sex battering mirrors heterosexual battering both in type and prevalence” {This material was reprinted/adapted from the publication titled Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans (LGBT) Communities and Domestic Violence: Information and Resources (2007) by the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence} which translates into 25-33% of all lesbian and gay couples (The NW Network of Bi, Trans, Lesbian and Gay Survivors of Abuse, http://www.nwnetwork.org/).
So…what? Why do you care? Maybe you don’t and maybe I can’t make you.
But maybe you haven’t realized that statistically, you know a victim of domestic violence. Think about it. Statistically, one in every four intimate relationships includes some kind of domestic violence. Domestic violence can be physical, emotional, verbal, and/or sexual. Even between same-sex individuals, it is never a “fair fight” nor is the more “butch” or physically more masculine member of the couple always the batterer. Domestic violence will include fear, shame, and intimidation. And you know someone who is experiencing this right now.
Or maybe you didn’t realize you weren’t the only LGBT victim of domestic violence. You believed the myth that domestic violence just doesn’t occur within our community, so this doesn’t count. Or that because you fight back to defend yourself, it’s not really domestic violence. Or because your partner “only” calls you names, doesn’t hit you, it’s not really domestic violence. Maybe you believed that you aren’t in the “right” group of people to be a victim.
Maybe you weren’t aware. But now you are. If you or someone you care about is in an abusive relationship, you aren’t alone. If you think you or someone you care about might be in an abusive relationship, you aren’t alone. There is help, as close as Seattle. The NW Network of Bi, Trans, Lesbian and Gay Survivors of Abuse is there, ready to listen, ready to believe you. Contact them in whatever way makes you most comfortable here: PO Box 18436, Seattle, WA 98118 or (206)-568-7777 or info@nwnetwork.org. Their office hours are Monday-Friday, 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m.
It’s time to be aware, Poppets. This month and the other eleven in the year, too. Enjoy Autumn – I will – just remember to take care of you, and each other.
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