I struggle,
Poppets, with the balance between feel-good fluffy articles and social justice
articles. On the one hand, I don’t want to be the Pollyanna columnist who only
sees the happy things and disregards very real struggles. On the other hand, I
don’t want to be the angry, activist contributor to The Betty Pages who only sees the side that still needs work, and
always manages to bring people down. I find people who live in either extreme
to be tiresome, honestly.
So what’s this
month’s struggle? On the one hand, we have the mess with RuPaul’s Drag Race
using derogatory terms for transgendered people – and others’ defense of it. On
the other hand, we have a new movie coming out on HBO next month about the rise
of the AIDS epidemic in the 1980s - which, while hardly upbeat and happy, shows
some promise that I find exciting.
In an attempt to
find some balance, let’s start with the kerfuffle around terminology. Now, I
have many issues with RuPaul’s Drag Race, but this doesn’t happen to be one of
them. There. I said it. In the interest of full disclosure, let me be clear
that, as someone who lives outside of the gender binary, I personally find
RuPaul’s “She-Mail” segments clever wordplay. And I’m obviously not alone, because
his personal use, and the show’s use, of she-mail and tr***y have been
defended. Sometimes vociferously. The argument has been that drag is brazen and
on the edge. In your face. Modern day punk. It is somehow above political
correctness and therefore shouldn’t be policed.
But … that is
awfully close to the “but I didn’t mean it that
way” and the “but I mean it ironically” and the “it’s just a joke”
arguments that have been used for years to justify using derogatory words to
describe gays, lesbians, and bisexuals. They are insulting, invalid arguments
when they come from outside the community; they are equally insulting and
invalid when they come from inside it. The L,G, and B parts of our alphabet
soup should be on the frontlines of bringing T acceptance, respect, and
awareness into the mainstream. Yes, even the gay men who are also drag queens.
I’ve also read
transgendered people coming out and saying “oh, so I have to tell my friends
not to call me tranny any longer? Don’t tell me what to be offended by!” To
which I, as someone else who isn’t offended, say “get over yourself.” If you
aren’t offended, you aren’t offended. If your sense of humor allows this to be
funny, great! Your friends can throw that word at you all day, every day. No
one is making you stop and to pretend otherwise is being intentionally obtuse.
Have some respect for members of your own community who don’t find it funny. Who are
hurt. We aren’t dealing with a one-on-one situation. We are dealing with
changing a culture – and that includes everyone.
Drag queens – and
kings for that matter – are not transgendered people. They can’t reclaim the
words any more than men can reclaim “girls” or white people can reclaim the
N-word, because the words are not theirs to reclaim. And no amount of cool,
radical, or edgy can change that. It’s time to start being respectful of the
people we claim to support.
There. Which
brings us to the movie, The Normal Heart,
coming to HBO this month. Why am I excited about this movie? Lots of reasons.
First – I love the play. It’s a beautifully, honestly written work about the
rise of AIDS in the 1980s, so the source material is more than solid. Second,
they have actually cast – shock – gay men to play gay men. Admittedly, in the
21st century, that shouldn’t be such a shocker, but it is. Matt
Bomer and Jim Parsons actually getting to play gay men is an exciting change.
There are many
aspects that make me a little nervous – a straight man still plays the gay
protagonist, Julia Roberts is in it, and visibility does not necessarily equal
upward movement – however! The script is brilliant, the trailer looks strong,
and the casting is solid enough to make me excited to check it out later this
month. Meanwhile, if you choose to watch it, I’d love to hear your thoughts on
it, as well.
Until next month,
Poppets, take care of you – and each other.
