I’ve had a jumbled, angry, sad, frustrated article running
around in my head ever since the Piers Morgan-Janet Mock interview. Technically,
it started as only jumbled and frustrated after the Katie Couric-Laverne
Cox-Carmen Carrera interview, but evolved – or perhaps devolved – after the
Morgan interview. Every time I sat down to write it, to form some kind of
articulate thought, I’d only get so far before it digressed back into
incoherent noise. So stick with me, Poppets, while I deconstruct a few
thoughts.
First, in my happy, rose-colored world, we wouldn’t be
talking about transgendered men and women at all. We’d talk about men and
women, period. What their bodies looked like at birth would be irrelevant.
Hell, what their bodies look like now would be irrelevant. Who they are is what
would matter. The very fact that we have to have trans-activists, and
interviews with trans-activists, in the 21st century is appalling.
But I also believe people of color are actually equal to white people; that
women should be paid the same amount for doing the same job; and that LGBTQ
people should be able to live their lives with the same rights and protections
as straight, cis folks. So yeah…my happy, rose-colored world doesn’t exist and
I get that. Fine, we still need interviews with transgendered activists.
But what made either of these respected journalists think
these interviews were appropriate? I understand an opportunity to educate. In
fact, as someone who lives outside of the gender binary, I appreciate an
opportunity to educate. But there is so much more that needs to be explained
than what these women’s genitals look like. And making blanket statements that
they were born men, or used to be boys, completely disregards the entire point
of gender – that it doesn’t necessarily align with our sex and just because our
bodies are male or female doesn’t mean we were ever that gender.
Still, grudgingly and with reluctance, I can forgive the
intrusive questions. Transactivism on this mainstream level is a relatively new
thing. Here’s what I cannot forgive – the utter bullshit that followed after
the interviews. First, Katie Couric got called out and, instead of expressing
remorse or even simple understanding that she had mis-stepped, she talked about
“teachable moments.” Great. Let’s teach then. Let’s teach about the violence
and discrimination that face transgendered men and women every day. Let’s teach
about the struggles for acceptance within the LGBTQ community and the straight, cis community. Let’s
teach about states where the laws don’t protect transgendered people’s basic
human rights, and often explicitly take them away. Those are the important
teachable moments, not what someone’s genitalia looks like.
Then there was Piers Morgan, who managed to double down, not
once, but twice. First, he offered up one of those faux-ally moments, giving an
interview to Janet Mock because he’s an ally – while throwing her under the bus
for sensationalism-driven ratings. Then, he brought her back to further the
conversation, but instead of actually listening to her and trying to understand
where he’d gone wrong, got defensive and angry that she hadn’t kissed his ass
for being willing to have her on the show in the first place. And finally, to
cap it all off, he brought a bunch of cis-gendered people on to explain why
he’d been offensive. Instead of, you know, learning it from the woman he’d
offended. With friends like this, Poppets…
And don’t for a moment believe that race didn’t intersect in
these two situations. White people believe themselves to have rights to black
bodies, black spaces, especially those of black women. And when you look at
Laverne Cox, Carmen Carrera, and Janet Mock, you see black women. If one is a
white person, as Piers Morgan and Katie Couric are, one’s socialization kicks
in and says they are fair game. At that point, Morgan and Couric had two
options: they could give into that socialization, or they could fight it. We
know which they chose.
But it kept coming. For every voice on social media and in
comments online and forums speaking out against the offensive questions, there
were more shouting them down. Telling the people who came out in favor – truly
in favor – of the three women being interviewed to sit down, shut up, be
grateful for national exposure, accept breadcrumbs, even if they were tainted.
And it wasn’t just the straight, cis folks doing the shouting. It was us, too.
It shouldn’t have been – and it was.
The “LGBTQ community.” That’s how we refer to ourselves,
Poppets – “community.” And community is a powerful thing. Only it’s easy to
forget the “T” part of our community. It’s easy to forget these men and women
aren’t drag queens, or caricatures, or circus performers, but are people. People who aren’t here just to
entertain or educate us. People who
are supposed to belong in our circles. Who are supposed to be able to trust
we’ll have their backs, even when the straight, cis community doesn’t. Because
that’s what “community” means. At least, that’s what it’s supposed to mean, and
what I hope it can mean.
Until next month, Poppets, take care of you – and each
other.
