As I wrote about last month, Poppets, October is LGBTQ
History Month. While this is still very exciting to me, October is also Domestic
Violence Awareness Month. As any long-time readers of The Betty Pages will tell you, it is a subject that is near and dear
to my heart. Because, contrary to what many people believe, domestic violence
does indeed occur in our community.
While there are many similarities between domestic violence
in the LGBTQ community and the straight community, there are some distinct differences,
as well. Domestic violence between a man and woman is illegal in all 50 states.
For us, some states still explicitly exclude same-sex relationships from their
domestic violence laws. Statistically, gay men and lesbians are more likely to
fight back against their abuser than straight women are. Unfortunately, police
are also more likely to see an incident of domestic violence as a mutual fight,
instead of the act of abuse it is. Outing a partner is a threat that is both
very real and exclusive to the LGBTQ spectrum. The use of the word “it” against
a transgendered partner, or denigrating a transgendered person’s body, is as
abusive as any fist – but is only rarely considered an actual threat.
If you think you may be in an abusive situation, or if you
think someone you care about may be in an abusive relationship, first, know
it’s real. As much as we wish it wasn’t so, domestic violence does occur in our
community. Admitting it and reporting it is not a betrayal against the abuser –
or the community. And yes, there are services available, even to us.
The Northwest Network is based out of Seattle. They’re open
Monday-Friday, 9:00 am to 5:00 pm and can be reached during those hours at (206)
568-7777 or TTY (206) 517-9670. If you leave a message, they will call you back
if it is safe for them to do so. (http://nwnetwork.org/)
The YWCA of Clark County in Vancouver, Washington offers
SafeChoice LGBTQ Programs that address the specific issues of our community.
They have a 24-hour crisis line: 360 695 0501 and will accept
collect phone calls. They also have a toll-free number: 800 695 0167. You can call 24-hours a day for advice,
resources, or just support. (http://ywcaclarkcounty.com/help/safechoice)
Skagit Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Services is
officially an LGBTQ safe space and has information and resources targeted to
us. They also run a 24-hour crisis line: 1 (888) 336-9591. (http://www.skagitdvsas.org/)
Whoever you call, please reach out and call someone. You are
not alone. You don’t have to be afraid any more – this month, or any other.
Until next month, Poppets, take care of you – and each
other.
