Back when I worked in human services, I had an exercise I
did with my groups. Take a piece of paper and brightly colored pens and write
everything you liked about yourself all over the paper. It was good for these
women to see it, have it there in front of them. One woman, though - it was
eighteen years ago, but I remember her so clearly. When it came time for me to
show off everyone’s papers, hers was almost blank. In one corner, in little
tiny letters, in black ink, she had printed “I’m
a good friend.” All I could do at first was look at it. Finally, I
looked at her and asked if that was really all she liked about herself. She
nodded. My heart broke.
I did the only thing I knew to do; I told her it was the
saddest thing I had ever seen. I told her we were going to fix this. The rest
of the group chimed in. They loved her. They knew there was more to her than
that to like. As much as I wanted to let them go, the point of the exercise was
to acknowledge what we liked about ourselves. In this instance, the group
didn’t matter.
Instead, I turned her paper over and handed her a hot pink
marker. This time, though, she wrote I AM A GOOD FRIEND! It filled the page.
Those five words took over those 8.5 x 11 inches in hot pink. She started to
weep, saying “it’s so beautiful…it’s so beautiful…” Poppets, let me tell you,
there wasn’t a dry eye in that room.
On that note, I have a recommendation. For many years, now,
I have gone on record as being…less than excited, shall we say…about New Year’s
resolutions. Starting a new year that way inherently requires us to make a list
of things we don’t like about ourselves. Why would we do that?? Instead, this
year, let’s celebrate the things we like about ourselves.
Get your piece of paper. Get your colored markers. Fill your
page. Make it big. Make it loud. Make it yours. I promise you, there is
something wonderful about you. You are worth hot pink letters pouring off the
page. What better way to start a new year than by remembering those things?
When you’re done with it, tuck it away somewhere safe, frame
it and hang it on your wall, tape it to your bathroom mirror. Whatever you do,
don’t just throw it away. We can revisit them next year and see what we can add
in a year.
May your 2013 be even better than your 2012, Poppets. Until
next month, take care of you.
